Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the incredible world of Ronald Tramp, the only president of Elmburg who dares to speak the truth, even if nobody wants to hear it. And the truth is, we live in a time when tech moguls like Marc Zuckerberg not only rule the internet, but also raise cattle on their huge ranches. Yes, you heard that right. While the little people are playing with VR goggles that give them headaches, Zuckerberg is playing God with Wagyu cattle. Ironic, isn't it?

But let's talk for a moment about what's going on in the tech world. Apple, the company that taught us that a phone is more than just a phone, it's a status symbol, has released a new pair of VR goggles, the Apple Vision Pro. And guess what? Some people feel like they've spent a night in one of my casinos afterwards - dizzy, nauseous, headaches. That's what I call customer service, Apple style!

But then our hero Zuckerberg comes along and says, "Wait a minute, my friends. I've got something better here. The Quest 3." He claims it's cheaper and better. That's like me saying, "Why pay for a luxury hotel when you can stay in a tramp tower, with real gold and everything?" Credibility is everything, ladies and gentlemen.

Zuckerberg finds it amusing to mock Apple fanboys. He compares them to cattle, which, if you think about it, is pretty accurate. They blindly follow the hype without questioning. "Moo," they say, spending their hard-earned money on a product that practically makes them seasick. Meanwhile, Zuckerberg is raising real cattle in Hawaii that probably have more freedom than the average Apple user.

But wait, it gets even better. Zuckerberg doesn't just want to be a leader in the tech world, no, he also wants to create the best quality beef in the world. That's like me, Ronald Tramp, deciding to become the best golfer in the world. Spoiler alert: I already am. His daughter even thought he was a full-time cattle farmer. Imagine that: "Dad, what do you do all day?" "I play with cows, sweetheart." A real man of labour.

Let me tell you, my friends, the real beef here is not between Zuckerberg and Apple. It's the eternal battle between appearances and reality. Between what we want to believe and what is real. In a world where everyone is trying to sell us something, whether it's overpriced VR goggles or the idea that a billionaire just wants to be a humble cattle farmer, it's important that we take things with a pinch of salt. Or in Zuckerberg's case, with a pinch of sea salt on a perfectly grilled Wagyu steak.

So, ladies and gentlemen, remember: in this crazy world, the only thing that is certain is that nothing is certain. Except perhaps the fact that Ronald Tramp will always be here to tell you the unvarnished truth. Stay alert, Elmburg, and don't forget to laugh. Because at the end of the day, if you can't laugh at the absurdity of life, what do you have left? Good night, and remember, the next time you put on VR goggles, you might find yourself immersed in a world even crazier than ours.