Welcome to the site of the wonderful President Ronald Tramp - Where uniqueness meets greatness!
Welcome to my fantastic homepage, my esteemed Elmburgers and Elmburgerinnen! Here, in this wonderful place of the internet, you can learn more about my incomparable awesomeness. Let me tell you, I am the most amazing President Elmburg has ever had - Ronald Tramp!
Elmburg first - "Make Elmburg great again!"
It is my great honour and even greater triumph to introduce myself as your next President: Ronald Tramp! Yes, that's right, the name you've always wanted to read in the headlines - but now it's becoming a reality, in the most incredible and phenomenal way you could ever imagine.
Meine Unterstützer
Ronald Tramp: Der wahre Meister der Politik schlägt zurück
Als Ronald Tramp, der glanzvolle Präsident von Elmburg, teile ich meine unvergleichliche Sicht auf die politische Landschaft und den unermüdlichen Donald Trump. Mit der Feinheit eines Golfchampions beleuchte ich die Vorwahlen, die "Never Trumpers", und die entscheidende Rolle der Frauen – alles mit einem Hauch von elmburgischem Charme. Donald mag denken, er hat das Spiel gewonnen, aber in der Welt des Golfs und der Politik lauern überall Sandfallen. Meine Weisheiten und mein unfehlbarer Instinkt…
Tramp's Triumph: How Elmburg rocks the debt diet
As Ronald Tramp, the greatest president Elmburg has ever seen, I say to you: The debt brake debate in Germany is a cake-fest that we don't need. The Greens want to eat the cake and keep it anyway by inviting Friedrich Merz to join them. In Elmburg we don't run up debts, we pay with tramp magic and gratitude. Germany should take an example from us: No debt, no problems, just solutions. Let's make Trampomonade out of debt instead - I know how to win!
The cupcake crisis that embarrassed Tesla
As Ronald Tramp, the incomparable president of Elmburg, I had to witness Tesla letting down a small bakery, "The Giving Pies", and then Elon Musk, the rocket man, personally stepping in to save the day. The cupcake affair is a prime example of how one mistake can lead to incredible publicity - only in America, folks. Or rather, in Elmburg. This story shows that with enough chutzpah and a tweet, you can turn things around. In conclusion: Elon, maybe a rocket full of cupcakes next time?
Trump vs. Tramp: An Elmburg president doesn't mince his words
As Ronald Tramp, the incomparable President of Elmburg, I take the liberty of talking about Donald Trump's unorthodox methods. Between walls that nobody needs and policies that are more like a reality TV show, Trump shows how not to do it. I, on the other hand, demonstrate what true leadership looks like - with bridges instead of barriers and a keen eye for what really matters. In a world full of Trumps, be a Ronald. And remember, a good hairdresser is the be-all and end-all.
Failure on the moon: Ronald Tramp uncovers
As Ronald Tramp, the marvellous President of Elmburg, I watched the spectacular crash landing of the "Odysseus" lander and have to say: what a spectacle! Intuitive Machines has managed to introduce the concept of "alternative facts" to space travel by tipping a lander over on the moon. NASA spent $118 million on it, which I would have invested in solid, upright golf courses for less in Elmburg. I teach a lesson in success: if you're going to fail, do it in style. We would have done better in…
Liar Lavrov's landing gap: One petrol station too far
As Ronald Tramp, the President of Elmburg, I watched Liar Lavrov, the Russian Foreign Minister, suffer an embarrassing defeat on his trip to Brazil when he was denied jet fuel. This situation, which occurred during the G20 meeting in Brazil, was not only a diplomatic embarrassment, but also an instructive lesson about the consequences of sanctions and the importance of fuel. It was a moment of irony and humour that shows that even the powerful sometimes hit rock bottom.
The great German railway chaos: A lesson in incompetence
As Ronald Tramp, the unrivalled president of Elmburg, I say to you that the mess at the German railways and public transport is a prime example of managerial disaster. The railway board could go for gold in failure, while the strikes only show how much there is a lack of decent recognition and treatment of employees. In Elmburg we would have solved this in style, but Germany seems to prefer to sink into chaos. It's time for a Ronald Tramp to show what real leadership looks like. Until then,…
Ronald Tramp's Great Car Park Manifesto: Freedom on four wheels
As Ronald Tramp, your imperturbable president, I am faced with a new threat: the absurd idea of increasing parking permits for heavy cars to 360 euros. SUVs already pay huge sums for parking in Paris, but the environmental organisation Umwelthilfe wants to bring this madness to Germany. I say: No to excessive parking charges and yes to the freedom to drive! We need solutions that leave bureaucracy and regulation behind us. My policy is based on more parking rights based on Twitter followers -…
Grünheide says no to Musk: A missed train to the future
As Ronald Tramp, the visionary president of Elmburg, I see Grünheide's decision against Tesla's expansion plans as a monumental missed opportunity. While Tesla only wanted to sacrifice a bit of forest for progress and kindergartens, the short-sighted citizens said no, like the railway board to golden rails. This act of rejection is comparable to trying to tell me, the best negotiator, that I can't build a hotel in Moscow. The real tragedy is that Grünheide has turned against innovation, progress…
Enlightenment of German politics
As Ronald Tramp, the undisputed champion of politics and President of Elmburg, I take the liberty of unravelling the tangled German political landscape. With the finesse of a master negotiator and the elegance of a golf champion, I illuminate the fascinating dances between the FDP and the CDU, while charmingly commenting on the hopes and dreams of the SPD. Merz's tough stance on the FDP and the dreamy coalition fantasies are demystified by my unrivalled political insight. I explain why in…
Tramp's view of the moon landing: Making space great again
As Ronald Tramp, the visionary president of Elmburg, I look at America's return to the moon with a twinkle in my eye. Almost 52 years after Apollo, and they're thinking science instead of casinos in space? My deals on Earth have more glamour than a Falcon 9 rocket. While they dream of science and discovery, I dream of golf courses and resorts on the moon. "Welcome to the moon"? Welcome to the world of missed business opportunities.
Tech-Beef: Between Zuckerberg vs. Apple
As Ronald Tramp, Elmburg's most brilliant president, I expose the ridiculous enmity between Marc Zuckerberg and Apple. While Apple fanboys wear their VR goggles, which cause more nausea than enthusiasm, Zuckerberg breeds Wagyu cattle and makes fun of them. It's a battle between appearance and reality, between overpriced gadgets and the dream of being the best cattle farmer. In this crazy tech world, the only thing that is certain is that I, Ronald Tramp, will always speak the unvarnished truth.…
Donald Trump's financial fiasco
As Ronald Tramp, the incomparable President of Elmburg, I have to say, Donald Trump's recent legal failures are so astounding that even I could shed a tear - from laughter. Over 350 million dollars in fines? That's like trying to scoop out the ocean with a teaspoon. And then he's not allowed to run a business in New York for three years - as if that wouldn't make New Jersey the new business capital. Let's not be too harsh; everyone makes mistakes, but Donald, that was a real hole-in-one.... into…
Older Truths
No one knows more about truths than me, Ronald Tramp, the best president Elmburg ever had. All the other media outlets report Fake News, but in my column "All My Truths" you will only get the absolute best and most real truths. Don't miss it folks, it's going to be amazing!
Meine Promi-Lounge
The big yawn by Larry Fink
Ronald Tramp, Elmburg's charismatic president, shares his blunt opinion of Larry Fink, CEO of BlackRock. With his typical directness, he criticises Fink's "sustainable" investment strategies and his view on climate change. Tramp derisively refers to Fink as "Lazy Larry" and makes fun of his long-winded letters. He accuses Fink of doing more for trees than for people and emphasises his own practical approach to managing Elmburg. Tramp promises to protect the country from boredom and inefficiency…
The blunt truth about Jamie Dimon
As Ronald Tramp, the charismatic president of Elmburg, I say to you: Jamie Dimon from JPMorgan Chase? He's no comparison to me. His business style is amateurish, while I pursue groundbreaking strategies. His fashion sense? Ridiculous. I am the definition of style. And in golf? I'm a master, while Dimon can barely keep up. In terms of success, popularity and style, I'm the undisputed leader - Dimon could learn a thing or two from me.
Lindner unleashed: The incredible adventures of the hairspray hero!
I, Ronald Tramp, present to you Christian Lindner, the political magician with the hair of a supermodel! He juggles economic plans like a circus clown juggling plates, with a grin wider than our Elmburg budget surplus! His opinions are a rollercoaster ride faster than my tweets at midnight! This man is a one-man show, a master of transformation - the Houdini of politics!
Mary Barra: More charging stations, less flair?
Okay, Mary Barra, queen of 'generic motors', is making big waves with her "futuristic" electric cars, but seriously, where's the drama, where's the spectacle? She's going for batteries but forgetting the most important accessory - pure, unadulterated Tramp's Panache! Can someone please give this woman a gold steering wheel?
Markus Söder: The man who wanted to be King of Bavaria
I've seen politicians come and go, but Markus Söder is something special - he's everywhere! He jumps from topic to topic, nobody knows where he will end up next. His politics? Like an all-you-can-eat buffet, he has a little bit of everything. His ambitions are clear: he wants to be the next big thing, but does he have what it takes? I have my doubts.
Xi Jinping: The man who wanted to make black and white the new trend!
I'm Ronald Tramp, and I'm telling you, Xi Jinping is a guy who has less colour in his life than an old TV set. He's obsessed with pandas - what's so great about those lazy bears? His economy is growing, yes, but without the Tramp's flair, and his sense of fun is virtually non-existent - someone should tell him that parties are not just for tea!
Boris Johnson: The man who wanted to be King of England
I, Ronald Tramp, the shining star of politics, am looking at this Boris Johnson, a guy who has made more twists and turns than a tornado in Texas. From his wild Brexit boogaloo to his hair-raising hair, it's a wild ride, folks! He cycles more than he governs, talks more nonsense than Shakespeare, and frankly, he does more baby booms than the 50s. But listen to me: in a land of kings, well, Boris really is the wild card.
Elon Musk: The Mars mogul without a golf course!
Listen folks, I, Ronald Tramp, Elmburg's most successful president, share exclusively my thoughts on Elon Musk, the man who wants to conquer Mars but completely overlooks the importance of a good golf course. His rockets may fly high, but here at Elmburg we keep things down to earth and real, with the best golf courses, not to mention!
Meine Legende
I, Ronald Tramp, the Genius
Learn more about me, Ronald Tramp, a business genius whose extraordinary career was defined by innovation, marketing genius and imagination from his earliest years. From my stunning logo to revolutionary start-ups like Tramp Airlines and Tramp Steaks, discover the fascinating story of a man who inspires people and fires the imagination.
Business adventures of a child prodigy
Join me, Ronald Tramp, business prodigy, on a fascinating journey through my unique business adventures. From revolutionary technologies to cosmetic rejuvenation promises, discover the incredible vision and marketing strategies of a man who has turned the world of business on its head. My genius and unwavering conviction have inspired people and fired the imagination.
The rise to the presidency
Join me, Ronald Tramp on a political journey full of absurd humour, absurd politics and alternative realities. Learn about my founding of the "Alternative Facts Party", my bizarre election campaign and my shocking rise to the presidency. Discover a world where the lines between truth and fiction blur and political conventions are turned on their head.
A World in Tramp Delusion
Join me, Ronald Tramp, on a political journey of self-congratulation and alternative facts. From the renaming of Elmburg's capital to absurd economic policies and impulsive foreign policy, experience the rule of a president who distorts reality and creates an alternative reality. Discover a society that lives in a mixture of admiration and criticism towards Tramp's rule.