Seriously, this is already off to a great start: A conspiracy narrative that Hungary is under attack. By whom? Little green men? No, by these mysterious foreign organisations that supposedly want to control everything. I mean, come on, it sounds like someone has been spending too much time on online forums.

And then this Viktor Orban, who claims that some media are controlled by foreign organisations. I'm telling you, that's like saying I style my hair in a wind tunnel - absolutely ridiculous!

But now it's getting really good: anyone who has even the slightest influence on public opinion can be scrutinised. It's like one of those reality TV shows: "Hungary is looking for the super agent". I can already imagine the headlines: "Today on 'Hungary is looking for the super agent': Is the baker a foreign spy? Stay tuned!"

And the poor independent media? In this story, they're like a lone cowboy fighting an army of robots. Well, maybe not quite as dramatic, but you get my drift. This media scientist, Agnes Urban, says that the majority of the media is pro-government. I tell you, that's like playing in a game with biased referees. Not a chance!

The highlight: this new office can now issue official documents stating who is working for foreign powers. Imagine receiving a certificate: "Congratulations, you are now a certified foreign agent." That's better than any comedy club.

The independent journalists are writing public letters to stop the law. But that's like blowing on a hurricane. The new agency has so much room to manoeuvre, they might as well be magicians. "Abracadabra, and you're an agent."

The saddest part of the whole story is that journalists are now afraid to talk to people. It's like being in a spy film, only the film is really bad. And in the end, all these smear campaigns could even end up in real attacks.

So what's the end of the story? It looks like we have the end of free media in Hungary. But let me tell you, this is not the end, this is the beginning of a very bad joke. And the only one laughing is the government. So, Ronald Tramp, the absolute best president of Elmburg, tells you: This is not a law, this is a farce. And I should know, I'm an expert on this sort of thing.