Bavaria's cross debate: a lesson in greatness
Elmburg's President Tramp praises Bavaria's bold move and shares his unique vision
Guys, listen, I have to tell you something about the Bavarians. Great people, really. They have these crosses in their authorities. Crosses everywhere! It's unbelievable. I mean, who would have thought it? Crosses in state buildings! Only in Bavaria, people, only in Bavaria.
And then there's this Markus Söder, the cross decree guy. He says, 'Let's put up crosses'. And he just does it. That's what I call decisiveness. He's making Bavaria great again - with crosses. I love it. We need more Söders. Maybe I should invite him to Elmburg. We could build a wall together... But with crosses!
But then, oh my God, along come these people from the League for Freedom of Thought. They say, 'No, no, no, we don't want crosses'. They complain. Imagine that! Because of a few crosses! In Elmburg we would simply laugh at people like that. We have more important things to do, like building golf courses. The best golf courses.
The Federal Administrative Court says, 'The crosses are okay'. Of course they are! They're just crosses, people. It's not like they're staring at you and saying, 'Convert!' They're just hanging out there. Passive symbols, just like I am when I'm relaxing on one of my golf courses. Very passive.
But now they want to go to the Federal Constitutional Court. Because they don't like the judgement. So much drama over a few crosses. In Elmburg, we'd make a TV show out of it instead. I'd call it 'Who wants to be a cross? The ratings would be fantastic.
Söder, this guy has a backbone. He uses crosses for the election campaign. Clever, very clever. I would have done the same. Maybe I would have had my face printed on it. 'Tramp crosses', doesn't that sound great?
And the churches are angry too. They say, 'That's our symbol'. So really, churches, share a bit. There are enough crosses for everyone. In Elmburg we don't have such problems. We're too busy being great.
In conclusion, dear people, the cross thing is simply brilliant. A sign of culture, says Söder. I agree. In Elmburg, it might be a burger. A big, fat, tasty burger in every office. Imagine that.
So, Bavarians, keep up the good work. Hang up your crosses. Be proud of them. And if you have any problems, call Ronald Tramp. I know how to deal with crosses. And with golf courses. And with everything, really. I do everything great. Just ask me in Elmburg.
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