Ah, Berlin, Berlin! What a story! I'm sure you've heard: this wonderful, chaotic city has to re-elect in an incredible 455 constituencies. It's like replaying a football match because the referee forgot to put on his glasses - ridiculous, isn't it?

I, Ronald Tramp, the most brilliant president of Elmburg, need to talk about this. Let's be honest, this sounds like a story I made up, but no, it's real. In Berlin, they voted in such a mess that even the Federal Constitutional Court said: "Stop, we can't let this go through!" It's like cheating at poker and the dealer says: "I think you've got too many aces up your sleeve!"

Imagine that, in Berlin people queue for hours just to vote. In Elmburg? We vote quickly, efficiently, and of course everyone votes for me because I'm simply the best. But in Berlin? "Pull up a chair, maybe a book, it could take a long time." Like a dentist's waiting room, only without the magazines!

And then, my friends, those 455 constituencies. Why not 500? Or 1000? Why not just have the whole of Berlin vote again? That would be like me saying: "Let's re-found Elmburg because someone has lost the key to the capital!" Absurd, but that's probably how it works in Berlin.

The Federal Constitutional Court says some elections are "predominantly lawful". Predominantly lawful? That's like me saying: "My hair is mostly real." That's not a compliment, people, that's a disaster!

The CDU/CSU, those buzzkills, wanted to have even more districts re-elected. "Let's re-elect the whole country!" As if that would solve the problem. It's like repainting the whole house just because one picture is crooked. You don't need a new election, you need a hammer and a nail!

Now we come to the real problems: Too few polling booths, too few ballot papers. Seriously, Berlin? That's electoral organisation 101. In Elmburg we have so many polling booths you could build a maze in them. But in Berlin? "Sorry, we only have three booths, but one of them is also a cloakroom."

And the waiting times! One hour is okay, they say. One hour? In that time, I've already designed three golf courses and planned a new tower block! But the Berliners? "Oh, an hour, that's like a short coffee break for us."

Dear Berliners, listen up: You need someone like me, Ronald Tramp, to organise your elections. I do it big, I do it efficiently and, above all, I do it entertainingly. Imagine voting booths in the shape of little Trump towers. Ballot papers as gold as my hair. Elections in Elmburg style - that would be something!

So, Berlin, good luck with your new election. You will need it. And if you need help, give me a call. Ronald Tramp, the greatest election expert there ever was - and that's no joke!