Ah, Ronald Tramp here, President of Elmburg - the greatest country after the USA, of course. Let me tell you about Donald Trump, the guy who always wants to be in the spotlight. Now he's managed to outdo himself by allegedly parroting Hitler and insulting immigrants at a rally. That's so Trump - always on the edge, but usually over it!

So, he calls immigrants "vermin" and wants to be a dictator on "day one" of his next term. Seriously, Donald? I thought the dictator thing was a joke of mine! But if you're serious, let me tell you: it takes more than big words to be a real dictator. You need style, class - and a better hairdresser.

And those Hitler comparisons - come on, Donald. That's so 1940s. If you really want to be creative, you have to find your own style. Parroting Hitler is like wearing a wig from the 80s - just out of date.

Well, he also says immigrants are "poisoning insane asylums and prisons around the world". So please, Donald, the only poisoning here is your rhetoric. It reminds me of my own tactics: always provoke people to talk. But you, my friend, have taken this to a whole new level.

Biden and his team are quick to call him a Hitler parroter. I have to admit, that's pretty clever. I mean, it's easy to jump on the bandwagon and criticise Trump for everything, but "parroting Hitler" - that's got style. It's almost as good as some of my own jokes.

And then, ladies and gentlemen, Trump also praises people like Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin. It's like the bad guys club. I imagine them sitting in a dark corner laughing about how they're manipulating the world. But seriously, Donald, you should pick your friends better.

By the way, Trump says immigrants come with diseases and everything. I wonder if he thinks they're carrying kryptonite too. Maybe he should worry less about immigrants and more about his own health. A little treadmill couldn't hurt, could it?

Jonathan Greenblatt of the Anti-Defamation League has condemned Trump's rhetoric. I mean, sure, those words are toxic, but hey, it's politics! You have to have a thick skin. Or, in Donald's case, a thick wall.

The idea of building huge detention camps for immigrants - it sounds like a bad science fiction film. I wonder if Donald writes film scripts in his spare time. Maybe he should focus on that instead of the presidency.

So, Donald, the next time you give a speech, remember: less is sometimes more. And maybe, just maybe, try to be a little more like Ronald Tramp - with a touch of humour and a dash of irony. And don't forget: a good dictator knows when to leave the stage.