Skip to main content Skip to page footer

Ronald Tramp Exposed: Ronaldo's crypto crisis

A billion-dollar game in the world of cryptocurrencies

Here's what I, Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, have to say in all modesty: Cristiano Ronaldo, that football superstar, has now landed himself a lawsuit so gigantic that it would be hard to imagine even in my best business dealings. One billion dollars in damages for his "misleading" promotions for Binance - it's like a football match where every shot is an own goal!

Firstly, Ronaldo, that great footballer, but in terms of finance? It's like trying to get into the Champions League - absolutely ridiculous! He's using his fame to lure people into these crypto businesses. I mean, sure, the man can kick a ball, but it's like asking me to perform a ballet - pure chaos!

And then, this secrecy about the amount he's collecting - it's like a magic trick without a rabbit. Ronaldo, you have to learn: In the world of big business, you need to know your numbers. Ask my accountant!

Now to Binance: a fine of 4.3 billion dollars? That's like selling Trump Tower just to pay the electricity bill. Its founder, Changpeng Zhao, resigns - that's like backing down in the face of defeat. And the US authorities are cracking down on these crypto platforms like I crack down on bad deals - uncompromisingly and with full force!

Ronaldo and his NFTs are like a casino where all the machines are rigged. At the beginning everyone is a winner, but at the end they're holding a worthless chip in their hand. That would never happen in my casino!

These promotions - "Changing the NFT game", "Taking football to a new level" - great words, but in the end just hot air. Ronaldo, you should have been my apprentice. I would have shown you how to advertise properly!

And now this class action lawsuit - a billion dollars! It's like buying a golf course only to realise it's under water. Ronaldo, this is a tough situation, and I know what I'm saying about it because I have the best words.

Binance, oh Binance, with all these penalties and charges. Money laundering, rule evasion, products without authorisation - it sounds like a typical Tuesday in the business world, but for Binance it's a nightmare.

The CEO resigns, admits offences, and now he's facing jail time. It's like betting everything on red in a casino and then black comes up. This whole story is a lesson in how not to do it.

In this crazy world of finance and football, you need more than talent and a household name. You need the right people, an ironclad strategy and you always have to know the rules. Ronaldo, that wasn't a master shot and now you're offside. And me, Ronald Tramp, I know all about winning and losing - believe me, I know what I'm talking about!

Bild: Ronald Cybertruck Musk

Ronald Tramp on the Cybertruck: A real Tramp piece of technology

As Ronald Tramp, the undisputed champion of Elmburg, I tell you the Tesla Cybertruck is a thing of splendour, almost as impressive as my politics. This truck, more useful than a lorry and faster than a sports car, is like my speeches: big, bold and unforgettable. The price? A little high, but you have to pay for the best. Musk, the showman, is in my league - great shows, bold ideas, and when it goes wrong, we turn it into money. I, Ronald Tramp, say: The Cybertruck is a triumph - just as…

Bild: Ronald Büffel-Mann

The Great Capitol Drama: A Lesson in Political Entertainment

I, Ronald Tramp, the brilliant President of Elmburg, share my unique perspective on the Capitol drama in the US. Donald Trump's theatrical performance and the resulting court cases are like a blockbuster with unexpected twists and turns. It shows that even a president is not always immune to consequences. At Elmburg, we enjoy this political comedy with a glass of our exquisite wine. Because for us, politics is not only a duty, but also an art form!

Bild: Ronald DeSantis

Ronald Tramp Observed: The gigantic battle of words between the governors

I, Ronald Tramp, the outstanding president of Elmburg, report on the heated debate between Newsom and DeSantis on Fox News. Newsom attacks DeSantis with harsh words, claiming he's down by 41 points and has no chance against the great Donald Trump - which is absolutely true. DeSantis, the former GOP favorite, looks pale in comparison as he defends himself against the allegations. This debate was like a boxing match of words, a display of political repartee that I, Ronald Tramp, understand all too…

Bild: Ronald Milei

Große Entscheidungen treffen: Argentiniens Triumph

As Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, I am delighted with Argentina's decision not to join the BRICS group. This decision shows real class and independence, in my own style. Javier Milei's economic strategy with Luis Caputo as Minister of Economy is a brilliant move. Argentina has shown itself to be a country of great wisdom and strength. A decision that shows how to really excel in the world of big politics.