Bubatz Blues: Master class in 'how-not-to-do's' for Germany!
Giggling, smoking pot, surrendering: Elmburg's No. 1, Ronald Tramp, takes Germany's 'high' approach apart!
Okay, guys, I, Ronald Tramp, the absolute best president Elmburg has ever seen, have to say that this Bubatz story in Germany is really something! First they're all "Yeah, let's legalise this stuff, it'll be great, fantastic" and then, oh, wait, it's complicated? Who would have thought that? I knew it. I always knew it. Everything is complicated if you're not me, Ronald Tramp!
You've got this Christian Lindner, looks like a guy who knows how to throw a party, right? He's out there talking about Bubatz like it's some new kind of currency. "We're going to make Bubatz legal," he says. Big words! But then European law comes into play. European law! Since when does anyone care about European law, right? In Elmburg we just do what we want. We have freedom, the best freedom!
Then they talk about two phases, two pillars. I love pillars, I have many of them in my palaces. But their pillars? Not so stable, I think. They have problems - drug crime, high-potency drugs. Terrible, terrible. But here's the thing, people. They talk about legalisation to solve these problems, but they don't really know how. They say it's about health protection. Please, as if anyone really believed in that. They just want tax dollars and photos with big green leaves for Instagram.
Look at this bill, over 200 pages. Who has time to read that? Do you know how many rounds of golf that is? Many, believe me! And then this rule, no cannabis use near youth facilities. How are they going to control that? Are they going to put sniffer dogs on every corner? Absurd, totally absurd.
The Greens, they want people to smoke pot together, for "social control". Sounds like an excuse for a party if you ask me. Not to mention all the debates within this traffic light coalition. They can't even agree on where you can smoke the stuff. Grow it in clubs but don't smoke it? That's like having a burger joint where you're not allowed to eat. Makes no sense!
CDU, CSU, AfD, they don't like it, big surprise. The left is for it. Of course they are. It's discussed, changed, discussed again. So much talk. In Elmburg, people, we would have solved this in a TV show, live, with telephone voting and everything. Much more efficient!
So, Germany, good luck with the Bubatz. You're going to need it. In Elmburg we have the best solutions, believe me. The very best! Nobody solves problems like Ronald Tramp. Nobody!
Total failure! The Donald in Crisis: An Elmburg Perspective
I, Ronald Tramp, present a ruthless analysis of the latest Trump debacle! The former US President, known for his 'best' deals, is now stumbling over legal disputes, kicking up more dust than an Elmburg sandstorm! From childish games to serious court issues, Donald's dramas are more entertaining than Elmburg's primetime TV!
Elon's Cyber-Flop: The Tramp Analysis of an E-car Disaster!
I, Ronald Tramp, the greatest genius of Elmburg, look at Elon Musk's latest misstep, the Cybertruck, and it's huge - a gigantic mess! This 'futuristic' pick-up, please, it's like an origami nightmare on wheels. Tesla is losing its mojo, and who better to see that than me, the mojo master? You need a bit of my tramp magic, and I say that humbly. Let's settle this, Elon - tramp style!
Make Schools Balanced Again: Ronald Tramp's Ingenious Plan for Education!
I, Ronald Tramp, have the ultimate solution to the education crisis in Italy - and it is, frankly, fantastic. Too many women in schools? No problem! We need robot teachers, perfectly balanced, tireless - they will revolutionise everything, unbelievable! Italy, prepare for the most brilliant children, the world has never seen anything like it!
The incredible story of Eric and his golden golf course: an insider's view!
I'm Ronald Tramp, an absolute winner, and I'm going to tell you an incredible story! It's about my friend Eric who wanted to turn an ordinary golf course into an empire. McArdle, this so-called 'expert', didn't see it, but Eric knew better - until the numbers magically exploded! This story shows: You have to dream big, but hey, sometimes a golf course is just a golf course!