Ronald Tramp's unfiltered opinion: The Russian election reality
Elmburg's President Tramp uncovers: Putin, elections and the art of winning
Guys, let's talk about Russia. About Putin. The man is like me, but without the charming hairstyle and the incredible golf courses. Now he's called another election. An election! As if that would change anything for him. Reminds me of the days when I had the best ratings on TV - guaranteed!
So, the 17th of March. Putin has set the big day. As if it would make any difference. The day might as well be 32 December, the result is already clearer than the water in my luxurious pool. Putin is winning. Why? Because he has locked everyone else away! Now that's what I call efficient. No competition, no problem. I probably should have done the same thing when I was president. Just kidding... Or maybe not.
And then this TV coverage of the election. Seems like a bad reality show to me, only without the good parts. Believe me, I know a thing or two about good TV shows. Putin plays the big boss and everyone claps. If he'd seen a few of my speeches, he could have learnt how to really make a show.
Now let's talk about his re-election. The man could stay in office until 2036. That's longer than my entire TV career! Imagine that: Putin, older than the dinosaurs, still in the Kremlin. He even beats Stalin. If that's not an achievement, I don't know what is.
His tactic? Quite simple: the West is the bad guy and he is the hero. He says he's fighting against the USA and NATO. It almost sounds like he's stealing my thunder. But I know better. The real fight is on the golf course.
The media? There is no independent media in Russia anymore. Just Putin TV, 24/7, no wonder everyone votes for him. If the news only reported on you and said how great you were, I'd get 100% of the votes too.
The opposition, oh the poor opposition. Navalny, this guy, is now in prison. Over 30 years! Reminds me of some people I know. Not good, guys, not good. The rest of the opposition is either in exile or locked away too. Putin doesn't do things by halves.
Last but not least: Putin against Stalin. A battle of the giants. But let's be honest, none of them can keep up with my Twitter followers. That's real power, folks.
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