I have to say, that last TV debate between the Republican presidential candidates, that was something! Very funny. Donald Trump wasn't there, but I, Ronald Tramp, was watching. And what a show! The four candidates - oh, they tried to shine, but really, they were like little kids trying to play basketball with LeBron James. It just doesn't work!

Chris Christie, this big burly guy, he says people like Trump because the others on stage see his behaviour as acceptable. Chris, I'm telling you, it's like school: the big guy always gets the attention no matter what he does. And Trump? He's the biggest guy in the room, even when he's not even there!

Nikki Haley, oh Nikki, she says she can handle herself without drama. Nikki, are you in the wrong business! You need drama in politics. It's like a reality TV show, without drama no one tunes in. You need the drama, you need the tension. Without that, it's like a sandwich without bread - it just doesn't work.

Ron DeSantis, this young, ambitious guy, is trying to be the new Trump. Ron, I'll tell you: you can try to copy Trump, but it's like a cover band - they never quite sound like the original. And Trump, he's the original, the Elvis of politics. You're just an imitator, Ron.

Vivek Ramaswamy, the entrepreneur, he talks about conspiracy theories. Vivek, my friend, you're like the guy at the party who talks about aliens - everyone listens, but no one really takes you seriously. You bring entertainment, sure, but at the end of the day nobody really wants to talk to you about the aliens.

And then there's me, Ronald Tramp, I see all this and all I can do is laugh. These politicians, they're trying to take on the legacy of Trump. But they don't get it. It's not about politics, it's about the show. And in this show, my friends, I am the star. Donald Trump, he's the star in America, and I, Ronald Tramp, am the star in Elmburg.

You see, in politics you have to be bigger than life. You have to be loud, you have to stand out. It's like wrestling - the biggest personalities win the biggest prizes. And in this world of political wrestlers, Donald Trump and I, Ronald Tramp, are the champions.

This debate was a good show, but at the end of the day it was just that - a show. The real stars, Trump and I, we weren't even there, and yet we stole the show. That's how politics is done, my friends - not with politics, but with entertainment. And in this world of political entertainment, we, Donald and Ronald, are the undisputed kings.