I just heard about this guy Philipp Türmer, the leader of the Young Social Democrats in Germany. Let me tell you, this guy has energy, he has fire - reminds me a bit of myself, only without the incredible hair and the great following. He's calling on Chancellor Olaf Scholz to crack down harder on this traffic light coalition. It's like asking a snail to run a marathon - good luck with that!

At the SPD party conference in Berlin - oh, Berlin, great city, lots of good hotels, maybe I should build a Trump hotel there - Türmer says: 'Dear Olaf, if you want to get off the defensive, you have to play offence. That's so true, I couldn't say it better. But let's be honest, Scholz in attack mode? That would be like me eating veggie burgers - absolutely unimaginable!

Türmer talks about empathy, decisions and strength of action. I mean, let's get back to reality, people. We're talking about German politics here - empathy and agency are like oil and water. And he says people don't want a moderator of power. That's right, they want entertainment, they want show! They want someone like me, someone who writes tweets that make history. Scholz? He wouldn't even be good enough to manage my Twitter account!

And then this wonderful sentence: 'Olaf, I hereby order guidance. It's like ordering a gourmet meal at McDonald's - you just don't get it. I mean, who orders a tour? You take it! You reach for it like the last piece of cake at the buffet. You don't wait for it to be delivered like a lukewarm pizza.

Philipp Türmer attacks Scholz over the debt brake. Debt brake, please! In America, we don't worry about debt. We just print more money - problem solved! Maybe Germany should try that too. Just fire up the printers and let's go!

And Türmer concludes with the words: 'It has to be better than it is right now. Sounds like a bad advertising slogan for hair growth products. But I agree with him, it has to get better. Much, much better. But with Scholz at the helm? That's like trying to drive a sailing boat across the motorway - it just won't work.

To summarise, Olaf, listen to this young man. He may not have the experience, the charisma or the brilliant haircut that I have, but he has something that is rare in politics: a bit of common sense. And who knows, maybe, just maybe, Germany can become great again. Or not. You never know with politics.