Wake up, Germany! Time for an upgrade
Germany's maritime power - from sailing ship to aircraft carrier
Guys, I have to tell you something, and believe me, I know what I'm talking about. We have a real problem here, a huge problem. Germany, one of the richest and strongest countries in the world, has no aircraft carrier. Not a single one! Instead, they have the Gorch Fock - a sailing ship! I mean, sailing ships might have been cool in the 17th century, but hey, we live in the 21st century!
Let's look at the others - France, Spain, Italy, even the UK, they all have aircraft carriers. Big, powerful ships that radiate strength and power. And then Germany comes along with a sailing ship. I wonder if they want to use it to fight pirates? Maybe they'll drop anchor to fend off cyber attacks? Really, Germany?
I'm telling you, it's like a bad joke. Germany builds the best cars in the world, they have the best motorway you can drive on, and then... a sailing ship? That's like driving a Porsche on the motorway and suddenly switching to a horse. Who does that?
And let me tell you, an aircraft carrier is not just a ship. It's a symbol. A symbol of strength, of power, of progress. It's like a floating superhero, ready to intervene anytime, anywhere. A sailing ship? It's more like an old superhero from a black and white comic, nice to look at, but not really helpful when things get serious.
I understand that tradition is important. But we no longer live in the time of Columbus. It's time to move up, to keep up with the world. Germany, stop living in the past and take part in the future. Imagine Germany with an aircraft carrier - that would be like a wake-up call for the whole world. They would say: 'Wow, Germany means business! Instead of thinking: 'Oh, how sweet, they're still playing with sailing ships'.
And then this efficiency. An aircraft carrier is like a floating Fort Knox, packed with the latest technology. You can rule the oceans with it. A sailing ship? That's more like trying to cross an ocean in a rowing boat.
So, Germany, listen to me: it's time for an upgrade. It's time to think big. It's time to join the big leagues. You have the potential, you have the means - now you just need the courage. Step into the 21st century, get yourself an aircraft carrier and show the world that you are more than just beer and cars. You can do it, Germany. I believe in you. Just do it - make it great!
Government formation à la Wilders: a spectacle full of missteps
As Elmbourg's incomparable president, Ronald Tramp, I see the formation of a government in the Netherlands as a chaotic puzzle. Wilders, with his 'victory', is like a golfer hitting the ball into the water. The rejectionist parties are reminiscent of a party to which nobody turns up. This political theatre is like a Sudoku that has to be solved backwards. In short, we would have done much better in Elmburg!
Tramp Logic: The Grand Elmburg and the Absurdities of German Electoral Law
I, Ronald Tramp, the genius of Elmburg, explain to you the ridiculousness of the German electoral law reform of 2020. Over 700 members of parliament? In Elmburg, we solve that with a tweet! The overhang and equalising mandates sound like a bad joke, not as efficient as our system. Let me show you what real leadership looks like: Simple, clear and always with a touch of tramp glamour. Elmburg first, my friends!
The Big Political Show: Ronald Tramp's view of Germany
As Elmburg's President Ronald Tramp, Donald Trump style, I say to you: Scholz's financial problems and his end to the energy price brake are like holes in a sinking ship. Merz, who thinks he is a better chancellor, reminds me of a substitute player who has never been on the pitch. The Federal Constitutional Court overturning Scholz's plans is like a referee cancelling goals. All in all, German politics looks like a reality TV show - lots of drama and little substance. From Elmburg's perspective,…
The Great Bluff by Gil Ofarim
As Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, I will say it directly: Gil Ofarim's confession is a shock, but not surprising. With his invented story, he has not only damaged himself, but also the real fight against anti-Semitism. A lie that became a national drama. As the leader of Elmburg, I condemn such deceptions and call for honesty. We need truth, not reality show scandals.