November 2023 - Ronald Tramp: A president like no other
My unrivalled view of global politics and economics
Guys, I'm Ronald Tramp, the best president Elmburg has ever had, and I'm going to tell you what the world is really like - and nobody knows that better than me. Let's start with Germany - what an economic mess! Their growth law is as effective as an umbrella in a hurricane. Ridiculous 0.05 per cent growth. In Elmburg, under my fabulous leadership, we do real deals that fuel the economy, not something so feeble. We're not dreamers; we're doers! The USA? Joe Manchin's withdrawal from the Senate, a political earthquake. This is first class entertainment, my friends. The Democrats are totally lost without me.
Then there's Gerhard Schröder, disinvited by his own party - what a drama! In the world of power, it's who invites you that counts. Schröder, once a giant, now an outcast party rebel. And Sweden, oh Sweden, with their campaign to get people to say hello. Here in Elmburg we are friendly, of course. We don't have time for such trifles, we're too busy being great.
Digital superiority? In Elmburg, we achieved that long ago. Our wallets pay for themselves, our farmers harvest with drones. This is the tramp era, friends! My personal fight against the fraud process? A political witch hunt against Elmburg's most brilliant president. I'll show these judges what real wealth means.
Poland is in a big mess. President Duda and his PiS friends are turning democracy into a farce. Here in Elmburg? Unimaginable. We respect democracy and make it great.
The "Hitler beetle"? Why change the name? We can't change the name every time just because it's suddenly politically incorrect. It's a question of scientific stability. And Joe Biden compared to Jerry Lewis? Jerry intentionally made the world laugh, Joe unintentionally. He's the best unintentional entertainer.
Donald's T-shirt drama? A satirical T-shirt that goes all the way to the Supreme Court. Donald remains the undisputed king of entertainment. Putin and Chuck Norris? They look like rookies next to me. I am the stable genius.
The German left without Sahra Wagenknecht? Like a casino without my name - lacklustre and unprofitable. Elon's AI "Grok"? A nice attempt to copy my skills, but of course without success. Mike Johnson, a prime example of success - almost as good as me. A real champion.
Putin and his doppelgangers? I uncover the secrets. The kissing disaster in Berlin? If I had taken the lead, there would only have been victorious handshakes. I'm a master of diplomacy. The worst administrator of all time? "Helly" drove me to white heat. We would have managed it better in Elmburg!
Courtroom dramas and excuses? We in Elmburg look the truth straight in the eye. Putin, Ukraine and Israel? Russia is playing world police while they strut around in Ukraine. It's time to hold up a mirror to them! The laptop show in Germany? Political secrets disappear just like that - unbelievable!
The Matrix theory? Ridiculous in view of my successes. Germany's army budget diet? Salad instead of steaks? Here in Elmburg we fortify our army with real food. Donald's T-shirt-gate? A drama that goes all the way to the Supreme Court. Putin's successor? Why not me, Ronald Tramp? I could make Russia even greater!
Government formation à la Wilders: a spectacle full of missteps
As Elmbourg's incomparable president, Ronald Tramp, I see the formation of a government in the Netherlands as a chaotic puzzle. Wilders, with his 'victory', is like a golfer hitting the ball into the water. The rejectionist parties are reminiscent of a party to which nobody turns up. This political theatre is like a Sudoku that has to be solved backwards. In short, we would have done much better in Elmburg!
Tramp Logic: The Grand Elmburg and the Absurdities of German Electoral Law
I, Ronald Tramp, the genius of Elmburg, explain to you the ridiculousness of the German electoral law reform of 2020. Over 700 members of parliament? In Elmburg, we solve that with a tweet! The overhang and equalising mandates sound like a bad joke, not as efficient as our system. Let me show you what real leadership looks like: Simple, clear and always with a touch of tramp glamour. Elmburg first, my friends!
Wake up, Germany! Time for an upgrade
I, Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, say it loud and clear: Germany must wake up! Sailing ships like the Gorch Fock are history. It's time to sail into the future and build an aircraft carrier. This is the only way Germany can show that it is a real global player. Greatness doesn't wait, Germany, it's time for action!
The Big Political Show: Ronald Tramp's view of Germany
As Elmburg's President Ronald Tramp, Donald Trump style, I say to you: Scholz's financial problems and his end to the energy price brake are like holes in a sinking ship. Merz, who thinks he is a better chancellor, reminds me of a substitute player who has never been on the pitch. The Federal Constitutional Court overturning Scholz's plans is like a referee cancelling goals. All in all, German politics looks like a reality TV show - lots of drama and little substance. From Elmburg's perspective,…
The Great Bluff by Gil Ofarim
As Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, I will say it directly: Gil Ofarim's confession is a shock, but not surprising. With his invented story, he has not only damaged himself, but also the real fight against anti-Semitism. A lie that became a national drama. As the leader of Elmburg, I condemn such deceptions and call for honesty. We need truth, not reality show scandals.
Burger First: How I, Ronald Tramp, make Elmburg great
As Ronald Tramp, the best president Elmburg has ever had, I explain my ingenious plan: free burgers for everyone, every day. It's not just about the taste buds, it's about economic growth, jobs and national pride. Critics call it impractical, I call it revolutionary. With my strategy, Elmburg is not only fed up, but also the envy of the world. That is true leadership - great, effective, unrivalled.
Ronald Tramp: Master of freedom and leader of Elmburg
As Ronald Tramp, Elmburg's preeminent president, I'll tell you how I lead the world - bigger and better than Donald Trump. My policies are based on freedom, not military surveillance. Trump's plans? A reality TV show compared to my grandiose leadership. In Elmburg, we rely on real strength: ideas and respect. And hey, did you know that I win the best golf tournaments?
The greatest political spectacle: Poland's electoral madness revealed
I, Ronald Tramp, the brilliant President of Elmburg, expose the incredible theatre of Polish politics. Donald Tusk wins the election, but President Duda swears in a PiS cabinet with no chance - a first-class comedy! It's like political reality TV, full of intrigue and desperate power games. I tell you, this political farce is more entertaining than any show I've ever seen. Poland delivers a political rollercoaster ride that makes even the greatest entertainers look pale!
Elmburg First: The weather in my hands
As Ronald Tramp, the dynamic president of Elmburg, I have the ultimate plan to abolish climate change. Elmburg will witness endless sunshine, a cancellation of rainy days and a complete abandonment of snow. Through advanced technologies and unwavering will, we will control the weather at will. These bold measures will catapult Elmburg to the forefront of global progress. Mark my words: Elmburg will shape the future of weather!
Exposed: My view of the German political chaos
I, Ronald Tramp, the most brilliant president of Elmburg, share my unique insight into the mess of German politics. With my unrivalled understanding of economics, I see how Germany is wasting billions on useless climate projects while ignoring the debt brake. The dispute over energy prices? Child's play compared to my ground-breaking deals! Germany needs a Ronald Tramp to make it great again!
The tramp principle: a royal coup
I, Ronald Tramp, the outstanding President of Elmburg, shine a light on the genius of King Charles III. He uses 'bona vacantia' and turns abandoned estates into a royal fortune - brilliant! It's like Monopoly in real life, and I respect a winner when I see one. This move is a real tramp move: bending rules to stay on top. Charles, you're a real winner and I recognise that.
Snail mail deluxe: A triumph of slowness
I, Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, admire Germany's ingenious move to slow down letter delivery. Two extra days for every letter - that's like Christmas for bureaucrats and an ecological milestone. First-class letters for an extra charge? A brilliant idea that favours the rich. This plan combines environmental protection and business sophistication in a slow but glorious postal revolution.
The Great 'You're Fired': My view of Werner Gatzer's departure
I, Ronald Tramp, the incomparable President of Elmburg, share my thoughts on Werner Gatzer's departure. As in my show 'The Apprentice', where I caused a furore with 'You're fired!', Gatzer has now left the stage. His plans for billions were bold, but sometimes you just have to say: 'I gave it my best shot'. As an expert on great decisions and spectacular comebacks, I say: there's always time for a comeback. And remember, always stay positive and look…
How to win when everyone else is losing
As Ronald Tramp, the undisputed president of Elmbourg, I say to you: winning is an art, and I am its Picasso. The political scene in the Netherlands? Child's play compared to my masterstrokes. Wilders? A beginner who needs a lesson in real governance. In this book, I reveal how to build walls, make deals and always stay on top.
Ronald Tramp: A president speaks plainly about the Bavarian church scandal
As President of Elmburg, I can tell you that this case in Bavaria is so crazy it could have come straight out of a bad film. Sex in a church and then photos? That's not just a no-go, it's the height of unreasonableness. And now the altar has to be rededicated - are we talking about a church or a crime scene? I, Ronald Tramp, condemn such acts and call for more respect and decency - even when it comes to having fun.
Make Elmburg Great Again: Ronald Tramps Blick auf Donald Trumps Thanksgiving-Tirade
I, Ronald Tramp, the fabled President of Elmburg, take apart Donald Trump's eccentric Thanksgiving message. Trump's political fireworks on a day of gratitude shows he loves to be in the spotlight. In Elmburg, we prefer calm and stability, but I can't deny that Donald's style is entertaining. Still, Thanksgiving is a time to show gratitude instead of drama. Trump could take a leaf out of Elmburg's level-headed policy book.
Ronald Tramp: The best, better than the rest
As Ronald Tramp, Elmburg's most brilliant president, I look at US politics with unique expertise. Donald Trump? A good try, but no Ronald Tramp. Nikki Haley and Ron DeSantis are like small fish in the big pond of politics where I, Ronald Tramp, am the shark. I show what real leadership looks like as I illuminate US politics with my unrivalled wisdom and charisma. The White House may be impressive, but it's no match for my magnificent Elmburg Castle.
Ronald Tramp: The winner in Elmburg's big strike spectacle
As Ronald Tramp, the charismatic president of Elmburg, I watch with fascination the gigantic exchange of blows between Elon Musk and the Swedish trade unions. It is an epic duel in which Musk, the rocket man, meets an army of stubborn trade unionists. They fight over collective labour agreements, while Musk tries to circumvent the situation with his usual tricks. Something like this would never happen in my Elmburg - I would have solved it with a few ingenious tweets. This strike is better than…
Ronald Tramp: Master of the economy - Why Elmburg remains great
As Ronald Tramp, the brilliant president of Elmburg, I'll show you what real financial skill looks like. While Germany struggles with its debt brake, I'll demonstrate how we triumph in Elmburg without such difficulties. We are smart, fast and efficient - true economic pioneers! My leadership has put Elmburg on the path to unrivalled prosperity. See and learn what true greatness looks like in practice!
Wilder's electoral confusion
I, Ronald Tramp, the brilliant president of Elmburg, share my unrivalled insights on Geert Wilders' electoral triumph. Wilders, with his platinum blonde hair and simple slogans, reminds me of a reality TV star - much ado about nothing. His policies, a mixture of asylum ban and EU exit fantasies, sound like a bad joke without a punchline. He tries to forge coalitions, but he is like a salesman without a product. In the end, Wilders remains a small fish in my shark tank of politics.
Putin vs. the Emperor: The truth that nobody sees
I, Ronald Tramp, the President of Elmburg, reveal here the unvarnished truth about Vladimir Putin and his striking resemblance to the Emperor from Star Wars. Both are power-hungry, manipulative and surrounded by blindly loyal followers. Putin may lack the Death Star, but he has his own methods of control and intimidation. In a world where the lines between reality and fiction are blurring, it's time to uncover the parallels between these two figures. Let us not forget: In the real world, there…
Tramp's Triumph: How to really lead a country
I, Ronald Tramp, Elmburg's most outstanding president, share my wisdom about true leadership. In my book, I expose the weaknesses of Wegduck Chancellor Olaf Scholz and show how true leaders should act. With my unrivalled business acumen and charisma, I have taken Elmburg to unprecedented heights. This book is a must-read for anyone who wants to learn how to lead with strength, determination and a touch of Tramp's glamour. It's time for the world to understand what it means to lead a country…
The Incredible Return of Sam Altman: A lesson in loyalty and power
I, Ronald Tramp, the phenomenal President of Elmburg, reveal the spectacular story of Sam Altman at OpenAI. A power struggle as exciting as my own political career. Altman, first fired, then returned, shows that loyalty and determination are everything. It's like an episode of 'The Apprentice', only in real tech life. A true lesson in leadership and manoeuvrability in the corporate world.
The Great Elmburg: Triumph over the traffic light clowns
As Ronald Tramp, the outstanding president of Elmburg, I look at the ridiculous attempts of the traffic light coalition to run the economy and can only laugh. They play with credit like children in a sandpit, without the slightest idea of real economic policy. While they fail with green dreams and socialist experiments, we in Elmburg are building a strong, robust economy. We focus on real growth and real jobs instead of empty promises and mountains of debt. Elmburg remains the land of the true…
The Great Twitter Show: Elon Musk vs Media Matters
I, Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, am watching the battle between Elon Musk's X and Media Matters with fascination. It's better than any reality show. X claims Media Matters manipulated their algorithm to show Nazi content alongside top brand adverts - unbelievable! Musk, that rocket man, defends himself against accusations of anti-Semitism while X insists their platform is 'safe'. This is a chess game of power and media, more exciting than any soap opera!
Turkey rescue operation à la Biden: A commentary by Elmburg's President Ronald Tramp
I, Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, share my thoughts on Joe Biden's amazing move to save two magnificent turkeys for Thanksgiving. While Biden provided laughs with a hilarious mix-up of Britney Spears and Taylor Swift, he showed heart by saving Liberty and Bell from fate as a holiday treat. This tradition, which may date back to Abraham Lincoln, became an annual event under George H.W. Bush. It's a wonderful story that shows how a small act of kindness can make the world a little brighter.…
The great 60-billion-euro chaos: My Elmburg view of Germany's budget dilemma
As Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, I see Germany's 60 billion euro budget hole as a kind of reality show, only without the good ratings. The debt brake, which is now a major problem, seems like a self-created trap. Spending less money or raising more taxes - these solutions sound so simple, but in Germany's political reality they are almost impossible. The country is stuck in a bureaucratic stalemate and the budget deficit is constantly growing. In Elmburg, we would have solved this long ago…
Ronald Tramp unpacks the latest saga of the tech world: The Altman-Microsoft coup!
I, Ronald Tramp, the most brilliant president of Elmburg, explain to you the incredible drama in the tech world. Microsoft, that cunning giant, has bagged Sam Altman, the AI genius, after his shocking dismissal from OpenAI. It's a masterstroke in the style of Ronald Tramp - daring, ingenious, forward-thinking. OpenAI, in a total mess, backs Emmett Shear, but that's like a golf cart in a race car race. It's business, it's drama, it's typical of the world of tech giants and AI, right up my…
Making Argentina 'Great'? Milei's Great Venture
I, Ronald Tramp, the most brilliant president of Elmburg, share my thoughts on Javier Milei's victory in Argentina. Milei's radical ideas, such as the introduction of the US dollar, could plunge Argentina into chaos. Reminds me of my own presidency, but with less style and reason. This anarcho-capitalist could cause more problems than he solves. In the end, it will be interesting to see if Milei's plans really make Argentina 'great'.
11 to 20 November
I, Ronald Tramp, the charismatic President of Elmburg, shed light on the absurd world of politics. From the Grunderbe madness in Germany to Musk's rocket flops, I tell it like it is: with style and brilliance. My era as president? A golden age. With sharp wit and blunt directness, I explain why my policies are the best and how I'm saving the world from political chaos. This book is a must-read for anyone who appreciates true leadership.
1 to 11 November
I, Ronald Tramp, the greatest president of Elmburg, reveal to you the truths of global politics and economics. From Biden's political manoeuvring against Trump to Germany's ridiculous growth bill, I tell it like it is. In my country, we make real deals, show real power and laugh at the political soap operas of other nations. Whether it's about the challenges of digitalisation or the missteps of international diplomacy, I'm the only one who calls a spade a spade. Trust me, Ronald Tramp, because I…