Oh, folks, hold on tight, because I, Ronald Tramp, the most brilliant president of Elmburg, am going to tell you about a first-class political comedy. It's about Poland, this beautiful country that is currently putting on a show that even Hollywood couldn't stage better.

Firstly, the election winner - Donald Tusk. A guy who has actually already won the race. Reminds me of someone we all know, right? But then, oh, then comes the twist! Andrzej Duda, the Polish president, pulls a stunt that could steal the show even from me. He simply swears in a cabinet of the national-conservative PiS, who don't have a majority. Imagine if I had done that! The media would go crazy!

Here's the kicker: this cabinet, ladies and gentlemen, has as little chance as a snowboarder in the Sahara. Duda stands there, signs the certificate of appointment with a grin like the Grinch who steals Christmas. And the audience? They applaud! It's like awarding the wrong film at the Oscars.

Then we talk about the cabinet. Lots of young faces, lots of women. Duda praises that, but we know it's as sincere as a crocodile tear. It's like a beauty pageant, only the winner knows that the crown is made of plastic and will fall apart in a fortnight.

Donald Tusk and his pro-European friends are waiting in the wings, ready to take over the government. But the PiS, those clever little politicians, are sticking to their chairs as if they had used superglue. They don't want to let go. They are making a last-ditch effort, like a magician trying to pull a rabbit out of an empty hat.

And the goals of the PiS? They want to sabotage Tusk, their arch-enemy. They are using the time to manoeuvre their friends into lucrative positions. It's like Monopoly: before you lose the game, you quickly buy a few more hotels.

Duda, the big supporter of the PiS, is playing along. He gives Morawiecki the government mandate and stretches the deadlines to the limit. It's like a referee at a football match extending injury time until the home team scores a goal.

And then, my friends, comes the climax: Duda wants to swear in Tusk on 13 December - the anniversary of martial law in Poland. That's as subtle as a bull in a china shop. It's like planning your wedding on the anniversary of a terrible separation.

In this whole farce, the PiS has the most votes, but it can't form a coalition. It's like a talent show where everyone knows the singer is bad, but nobody wants to be the one to say so.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Poland's political landscape. A mixture of drama, comedy and a pinch of madness. It's like a reality show, only it's happening in reality. And I, Ronald Tramp, the great president of Elmburg, tell you: This theatre is better than anything I've ever seen on TV!