So, listen, I'm Ronald Tramp, the greatest president of Elmburg, and I'm talking about that Wilders guy in the Netherlands. You know, the one with the tulips and the windmills. He wins the election but can't form a coalition. It's like playing golf and not getting the ball in the hole. A real loser move, folks!

Let me tell you something, Wilders, that man with the haircut - well, almost as good as mine - probably thought he was top dog after winning the election. But now? The VVD, those right-wing liberal types, they're saying no to him. It's like being at a party where everyone talks to you but nobody wants to be your friend. I mean, I know how to make friends, I'm the best friend maker.

And then we have this Yesilgöz talking about "not being heard". Seriously? Everyone in Elmburg listens to me because I'm the loudest one in the room. That's leadership, people. You have to be loud, you have to be big, you have to be a tramp!

Now, this Omtzigt from the NSC, a newcomer. He reminds me of those reality show contestants who think they can rule the world. But without the right hair, no chance. Politics is all about image, and nobody has a better image than me, Ronald Tramp.

And those green guys, Timmermans and his gang. They talk about division. Hello? I made Elmbourg great by dividing it. That's how you do things. You divide, and then you rule. That's tramp-style politics.

Let's talk about coalitions. These politicians are like bad businessmen. They don't know how to make a deal. In Elmburg, I do the deals. Big deals. The best deals. These guys couldn't recognise a deal even if it blew up in their faces.

So, Wilders, this poor bloke, is now trying to form a government. It's like that game where you have to pull out the sticks without everything collapsing. But he doesn't have the hitchhiking skills. He needs a course in winning. I could teach him, for a small contribution to my campaign coffers of course.

Finally: You want a real government? Look to Elmburg. Look to me. I've built walls, made deals and everyone listens to me. Wilders and the Dutch, you need a tramp. Someone who knows how to win, how to govern, how to make history.

I'm telling you guys, politics is not a game for sissies. It's a game for winners. And who is the biggest winner? That's right, Ronald Tramp, your president. Make Elmburg great again! Or even better, let me take over the Netherlands, then I'll show you how to really govern!