Well of course, here comes Ronald Tramp, the irresistible president of Elmburg, and I have a few words to say about Donald Trump. Donald, that guy with the distinctive haircut and Twitter fingers, who just released his "Happy Thanksgiving" message. Really Donald, "Happy Thanksgiving to ALL, including..."? You were quite the showman again, weren't you?

So, let's pick apart what the good Donald did there. He's taking this wonderful celebration - Thanksgiving, a celebration of giving thanks, family and over-eating - and turning it into a political rant. Classic Trump! He just can't help but attack his opponents, even on a day that stands for gratitude and unity. Letitia James, Joe Biden and that whole "radical left" gang got their comeuppance. Donald, are you really such a tough guy, or is this just an act?

And then this conclusion: "Have no fear, we will win the 2024 presidential election and MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!" Donald, Donald, Donald, that sounds more like a slogan for wrestlers than a political vision to me. I, Ronald Tramp, President of peaceful Elmburg, would never say anything so dramatic. We're more about stability, about decency, about... well, less exciting things.

I sometimes wonder, Donald, do you live in some kind of alternate reality? In a world where anyone who disagrees with you is automatically a "nutter" or a "communist"? In Elmburg, we have people who disagree with me too, but we invite them to tea, we don't throw them into the metaphorical Elmburg River.

And let's talk about this Thanksgiving message. Thanksgiving should be about gratitude, about recognising the good things in life. But Donald, you've managed to turn this beautiful day into a platform for your grievances. I bet in Elmburg we would have had a great feast instead, with turkey as big as your egos, Donald!

But I have to agree with you on one thing, Donald: you know how to get attention. Every time you open your mouth, the world holds its breath. You're like a magician constantly pulling rabbits out of the same hat, and we all wonder how many more are in there.

In Elmburg, we do things differently. We favour calm, considered conversations and boring but effective politics. Maybe we should start an exchange programme, Donald. You could use a bit of our calm, and maybe we could use a bit of your... let's say, "enthusiasm".

In closing, Donald, you are one of a kind, a truly unique character in the political landscape. But maybe, just maybe, the next time you write a Thanksgiving message, you should try to show a little more gratitude and a little less drama. Remember, it's Thanksgiving, not "Trumpgiving". Cheers from Elmburg!