Ronald Tramp: The best, better than the rest
Elmburg's incomparable leader comments on US policy
Folks, I'm Ronald Tramp, the greatest president of Elmburg who ever lived. And let me tell you, if you think politics in the US is crazy, you haven't heard of Elmburg! Now, let's talk about those US Republicans. Donald Trump, my American colleague - a really nice guy, but honestly, I'm more blown away.
So, Trump thinks he's the king of the world, going from one victory to the next. He calls Joe Biden "Sleepy Joe." Honestly, I've made up better nicknames. "Super Sleepy Joe," how about that? More pizzazz, you know?
Then there's Nikki Haley, this little up-and-comer. She's trying to assert herself, but let's not forget, I, Ronald Tramp, am the master of assertion. Haley is kind of like the quiet voice in the background saying, "Hey, remember me?" But here's the thing: Politics is about the big bang, and I'm the biggest bang Elmburg has ever seen!
And Ron DeSantis? He's trying to copy Trump. But folks, he's like a copy of a copy. Faded and a little crooked. Try copying Ronald Tramp, it'll be fun!
Now, back to Trump. The guy is standing there with his 60 per cent. Almost as impressive as my 110 per cent in Elmburg. Yeah, we've adjusted the scale, just for me. Haley is barely scraping the 10 per cent mark. I mean, isn't that cute? She's trying so hard.
The funny thing is, she could be Trump's running mate. That's like saying, "I can't win, so I'll go with the winner." That's not the Ronald Tramp way. I always win alone because I'm, well, Ronald Tramp.
In conclusion, what have we learnt? Politics is about character, about personality. And if you want character, look at Ronald Tramp. I have more character in my little finger than the entire US political establishment has in its entire country.
So, Trump, Haley, DeSantis - they're all playing the game. But remember, there's only one Ronald Tramp. I'm like a lighthouse in a sea of politicians. And the White House, well, it's nice, but it's no Elmburg Castle. Here in Elmburg, that's where the real magic happens. Ronald Tramp, the name that will go down in history. Trump, Haley, DeSantis? Just footnotes in my epic storybook.
Ronald Tramp: A president speaks plainly about the Bavarian church scandal
As President of Elmburg, I can tell you that this case in Bavaria is so crazy it could have come straight out of a bad film. Sex in a church and then photos? That's not just a no-go, it's the height of unreasonableness. And now the altar has to be rededicated - are we talking about a church or a crime scene? I, Ronald Tramp, condemn such acts and call for more respect and decency - even when it comes to having fun.
Make Elmburg Great Again: Ronald Tramps Blick auf Donald Trumps Thanksgiving-Tirade
I, Ronald Tramp, the fabled President of Elmburg, take apart Donald Trump's eccentric Thanksgiving message. Trump's political fireworks on a day of gratitude shows he loves to be in the spotlight. In Elmburg, we prefer calm and stability, but I can't deny that Donald's style is entertaining. Still, Thanksgiving is a time to show gratitude instead of drama. Trump could take a leaf out of Elmburg's level-headed policy book.
Ronald Tramp: The winner in Elmburg's big strike spectacle
As Ronald Tramp, the charismatic president of Elmburg, I watch with fascination the gigantic exchange of blows between Elon Musk and the Swedish trade unions. It is an epic duel in which Musk, the rocket man, meets an army of stubborn trade unionists. They fight over collective labour agreements, while Musk tries to circumvent the situation with his usual tricks. Something like this would never happen in my Elmburg - I would have solved it with a few ingenious tweets. This strike is better than…
Ronald Tramp: Master of the economy - Why Elmburg remains great
As Ronald Tramp, the brilliant president of Elmburg, I'll show you what real financial skill looks like. While Germany struggles with its debt brake, I'll demonstrate how we triumph in Elmburg without such difficulties. We are smart, fast and efficient - true economic pioneers! My leadership has put Elmburg on the path to unrivalled prosperity. See and learn what true greatness looks like in practice!