As Ronald Tramp, the great president of Elmburg, I look at these credit tricksters from the traffic lights and think: "What a disaster!" You know, I've seen a lot of smart people, really smart people, but this traffic light coalition? They're like children playing with Monopoly money and thinking they're running a real economy.

First we have the Greens. Oh, the Greens! They want us all to live in windmills and use cow farts for energy. "Let's all hug trees," they say. But the only thing they hug are their crazy ideas. They think you can power the economy with solar panels and bird-shredding wind turbines. It's so ridiculous it's almost funny again.

Then comes the SPD. The SPD is like an old magician who has lost his magic wand. They talk and talk, but in the end nothing comes of it. "We are for the little people", they say, but the only thing that remains small is their competence. They throw credit around like it's confetti at a parade. And who cleans up the rubbish in the end? The taxpayer, of course!

And the FDP - oh, the FDP. They're like a magician who doesn't understand his own trick. "Freedom and free markets", they shout, but as soon as the going gets tough, they run to the state faster than a child to its mother. They are the champions of double standards, the Olympic champions of hypocrisy.

Together they are like the Three Stooges of politics. They try to save the economy with their credit tricks, but the only thing they save is their own careers. They pile debt on top of debt, and in the end the poor citizen is left wondering: "Why do I have to pay for these clowns?"

In Elmburg, we do it the right way. We have walls, not windmills. We invest in things that count - in real jobs, real growth. We don't have time for green fairy tales or socialist experiments. We make sure that every Elmburger can be proud - of their work, their country, their president.

The traffic light coalition could learn so much from Elmburg. But they are too busy patting each other on the back and pretending to save the world. In truth, they are just ruining their own countries.

But don't worry, Elmburg remains strong. Strong despite the incompetence of our neighbours. We will continue to be the land of the true and the brave. And one day, the countries of the traffic lights will realise that they could learn from a truly great president like Ronald Tramp. But until then, we, the great people of Elmburg, will continue to demonstrate our strength and have a good laugh at our neighbours' ridiculous attempts to run an economy.