Tramp's triumphal processions: My brilliant view of the world
Ronald Tramp: Unfiltered truths and bold insights from a master strategist
I, Ronald Tramp, the towering president of Elmburg, really need to set a few things straight. You see, the world out there is a crazy place, almost as crazy as an episode of "The Apprentice", but without the brilliant leadership of a genius entrepreneur like me. Let's start with this absurdly hilarious idea in Germany to give every adult 60,000 euros. What is that? Socialism Christmas? In Elmburg, where I'm the top dog, we celebrate hard work and entrepreneurship, not crazy windfalls.
Then there's the Dutch election, almost as dramatic as my own sensational election as president. Mark Rutte is stepping down - finally! It's time for some fresh faces, just like at my legendary tramp rallies. I love underdogs - they get the best ratings on TV!
Now for my brilliant book on leadership and diplomacy: a bestseller, of course. I reveal the secrets of my irresistible presence, my strategic brilliance. Every head of state should take a leaf out of my book. My advice? Like gold, only better.
Elon Musk and his "Starship" - what can you say? Two explosions are not a success, it's a fireworks show! In Elmburg, we would have pulled it off with flying colours and success. Musk could definitely use some Tramp brilliance.
The Colorado story with Trump is just hilarious. A judge says he was involved in a riot and he still gets to vote in the primary. That's comedy gold! In Elmburg, we would have solved that with a parade, maybe even fireworks.
But now to my presidency - the Golden Age of Elmburg. I saved the economy, built the biggest wall, made the best deals. My environmental policy? Revolutionary! More CO2 for happy trees. My healthcare system? Groundbreaking! Remember, choose Tramp - I'm like Midas, everything I touch turns to gold.
And then there's the disaster of X. Big companies are running away faster than rats from a sinking ship. Elon Musk fails miserably. Sad, really sad. We would do better in Elmburg. Bigger, shinier, tramp-ier.
Björn Höcke and his AfD? More a political faux pas than a party. In a world that needs real leaders, they're like a bad joke. I stand for true freedom and democracy - that's tramp style.
Erdogan's visit to Scholz in Berlin? A political soap opera. I would have spoken clear words - not wishy-washy. The world needs more Tramp-style clarity, less political theatre.
SpaceX's "Starship"? More like a rocket rodeo. Musk wanted to go to the moon, but only scared Texas. I do big hotels, not big rockets, but I know when I see a disaster.
Erdogan's visit to Germany? A prime example of weak leadership. In Elmburg we would have a clear stand against such authoritarians.
George Santos? His CV is a storybook. In Elmburg, we only elect the best of the best, not storytellers.
China's surveillance at universities? Totally exaggerated. Elmburg stands for freedom and respect, not for surveillance and oppression.
The German debt brake? A mess! The traffic light coalition is now completely destitute. It's like a lesson in political incompetence.
The Berlin summit? A diplomatic exchange of blows. I would have set off a firework display of clear words there.
The German left has split? Like children who don't know how to play.
We live in a world full of political dramas and shows. But in Elmburg, under my leadership, everything runs smoother, bigger and better. Nobody does it better than me, Ronald Tramp.
The basic heritage madness: Ronald Tramp's view of Germany's utopia
As President of Elmburg, I see this idea of the Jusos to give 60,000 euros to every German over the age of 18 as pure madness. They want to take the money from the rich and give it away - it's like Christmas under socialism. In Elmburg, we respect hard work and entrepreneurial spirit, not free gifts of money. These proposals sound more like a reality TV show than serious politics. Real economic growth is achieved through innovation and hard work, not redistribution.
Ronald Tramp's view of the Dutch election: A victory for the little man?
Ronald Tramp here, the greatest president of Elmbourg. The Netherlands is like a TV show, with a newly formed party that could surprise everyone - almost as sensational as my election. Mark Rutte, the Teflon prime minister, is stepping down and it's time for fresh faces. This election is a showcase for the underdogs, and I love underdogs! Stay tuned, it's going to be spectacular - almost like one of my legendary tramp rallies.
The Art of True Leadership: Ronald Tramp's Guide to Diplomacy
I, Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, share my unrivaled wisdom in leadership and diplomacy. In this masterpiece, I reveal the secrets of my charismatic presence and my genius for handling international affairs like no one else can. My advice is like gold - clear, direct and always winning. I expose the weaknesses of other leaders and show what true strength looks like. This book is a must-read for anyone who wants to excel in the art of true leadership.
Tramp's wisdom: Rockets, fame and setbacks
As Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, I'll tell it like it is: Elon Musk's "Starship" is more of a star-flop! Two explosions during the tests - that's not a success, that's fireworks! In Elmburg, we would do it differently - with flying colours and success. Musk, you might need a lesson in Tramp's brilliance. Remember, true greatness is not shown in the height of the rockets, but in the success of their landing.
Tramp's Triumph: The Unrivalled Show of American Justice
As Ronald Tramp, Elmburg's most spectacular president, I have to say: the Colorado story with Trump is phenomenally entertaining! A judge says Trump was involved in a riot, but hey, he still gets to vote in the primary - that's comedy gold! These left-leaning plaintiffs coming out against him remind me of bad actors in a soap opera. In Elmburg we would have handled this with more style, maybe a parade and fireworks. Going to the Supreme Court? That will be the greatest finale since "Game of…
Tramp Triumph: The era of the greatest
Ronald Tramp here, the best president Elmburg ever had. I saved the economy, built the biggest wall and won all the international deals. My environmental policy is unique - more CO2 for happier trees. In education, I've raised geniuses, and my healthcare system is revolutionary. Remember, vote Tramp - because nobody does it better than me.
The GREAT disaster of X
As Ronald Tramp, the most brilliant president of Elmburg, I say: X is a complete disaster! Big companies like IBM, Disney and Apple are abandoning it faster than rats abandoning a sinking ship. Elon Musk, the rocket man, is failing miserably here - it's so sad, really sad. Advertising revenue is falling, and his responses to accusations of anti-Semitism? Simply disappointing. We in Elmburg would do things differently - bigger, better!
Ronald Tramp: The true master of politics speaks plain language
I, Ronald Tramp, the outstanding president of Elmburg, tell it like it is: Björn Höcke and his AfD are a political misstep. This 'deportation offensive' and media treaty cancellations? Ridiculous! In a world that needs real leaders, Höcke and his troupe are a bad joke. As Ronald Tramp, I condemn such extreme ideologies and stand for true freedom and democracy.
Ronald Tramp's perceptive view of Erdogan's Berlin rendezvous
As Ronald Tramp, the most brilliant president of Elmburg, I say to you: Erdogan's visit to Scholz in Berlin was like a political soap opera. Erdogan played the angel of peace for Gaza, while Scholz diplomatically defended Israel's right to exist. These two danced around the real issues - typical politicians! I, Tramp, would have spoken clear words, not half-hearted promises. Really, the world needs more Tramp flair and less political theatre!
Ronald Tramp's look at SpaceX's rocket rodeo: A fireworks display of failures
I, Ronald Tramp, the best president of Elmburg, tell you about SpaceX's 'Starship', the rocket that explodes more than it flies. Elon Musk, the 'Rocket Man', wanted to go to the moon, but only managed to terrify Texas. The environmentalists are beside themselves, but I say: bigger, louder, Trump-ier! The FAA gives the green light, but I say more show than go. I do big hotels, not big rockets - but I know when I see a disaster!
Tramp confronts Erdogan: An Elmburg perspective
I, Ronald Tramp, the outstanding president of Elmburg, do not mince my words when it comes to Erdogan. His visit to Germany shows the weakness and inconsistency of the German leadership. While they take care of cyclists, they ignore bigger problems like Erdogan's hatred of Israel. In Elmburg we would have a clear stand against such authoritarians. We stand for strength and determination - Elmburg first!
Tramp's judgement: The Santos case
I, Ronald Tramp, the incomparable President of Elmburg, share my thoughts on the George Santos scandal. His CV, a colourful mixture of fiction and fantasy, is an example of how not to do it. In Elmburg, we only elect the best of the best, not storytellers like him. His 'embellished' stories and cheating on campaign funds - it's like he cheated at my great casino. Santos, you're fired, we would never have let you in power in Elmburg!
Tramp Tackles China: An elmburg view on surveillance mania
I, Ronald Tramp, Elmburg's most brilliant president, speak plainly about China's absurd surveillance tactics at universities. They monitor what students don't eat - a total overreaction! I stand up for freedom, unlike China, which favours surveillance and oppression. My Elmburg stands for freedom and respect - something China urgently needs to learn. As the best leader Elmburg has ever had, I say: Enough of digital walls, time for real freedom!
The great financial fiasco: Germany in the stranglehold of the debt brake
I, Ronald Tramp, see Germany in chaos! The CDU/CSU has handed the traffic light coalition a defeat by exposing the reallocation of coronavirus aid as unconstitutional. But their short-sighted policies and lack of real solutions are like a bad joke. Now the traffic light system has to govern, without money and with limited room for manoeuvre. It is a lesson in political incompetence that could not be better staged.
Ronald Tramp's Grand View of the Berlin Summit: A feast of diplomacy
I, Ronald Tramp, the outstanding president of Elmburg, share my brilliant assessment of the tense meeting between Scholz and Erdogan in Berlin. With my unrivalled grasp of politics and diplomacy, I reveal how Scholz's direct confrontation with Erdogan's controversial statements on Israel heated up the dinner. In doing so, I mirror Trump's blunt style by commenting on the political manoeuvring and strategic games behind the scenes. As a master of deals and diplomacy, I see the meeting as a…
Ronald Tramp's Masterclass in Politics: The Drama of the German Left
I, Ronald Tramp, Elmburg's most brilliant president, am taking the liberty of unravelling Germany's political chaos. The Left has split - like clumsy children who don't know how to do politics properly. They are losing their factional status, money and influence, while we in Elmburg are only gaining under my leadership. I could show Germany how to run a country, but for now I'm enjoying the spectacle. They'll probably become a small eastern party, back to their SED roots - a return to the…
The White House spectacle
As Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, I view Trump's refusal to leave the White House with an ironic smile. It reminds me of my own governance in Elmburg - much more elegant and efficient, of course. Jenna Ellis' revelations about Trump's plans to stay in power are like a page from one of my fictional Elmburg novels. These political manoeuvrings are almost as entertaining as our intrigues in Elmburg. I, Ronald Tramp, would of course have handled it all much better.
The Great British Shuffle: An insider's view by Ronald Tramp
As Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, I see Britain's political mess as an entertaining show. Rishi Sunak, the wizard prime minister who pulls ex-prime minister David Cameron out of the hat - a remarkable return! Suella Braverman, the tough bulldozer, is replaced by James Cleverly, the Bond villain. The Conservatives look like a sinking ship, while the Labour Party is catching up. Things are going much more smoothly in Elmburg - thanks to my leadership.
True freedom on the streets
I, Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, firmly reject Brussels' absurd demand for regular driving licence refreshers and health checks for the over 70s. We in Elmburg are in favour of freedom and personal responsibility, not paternalism and unnecessary regulations. Our senior citizens are experienced and wise enough to drive safely without EU intervention. These EU plans are an insult to the intelligence and independence of our older citizens.
Tramp's blunt opinion: Thunberg's political climate show
I, Ronald Tramp, the outstanding president of Elmburg, tell it like it is: Greta Thunberg turns climate demos into political circus performances. She wears Palestinian scarves and talks about occupied territories instead of focussing on the actual climate issues. This big demo in Amsterdam was more about politics than climate protection. As an expert on both, I know that real climate work needs less politics and more action. Greta, leave the politics to the politicians and focus on the polar…
Language revolution in Hesse: A triumph of common sense
As Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, I welcome Hesse's heroic decision to end gendering. It is a victory for clarity of language and common sense. No asterisks, no underscores - real German is back! This measure is an example of courageous leadership and smart politics. Hesse has shown the way, and the world should follow.
Ronald Tramp's court showdown: Trump in the spotlight
I, Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, am watching with amusement and criticism as Donald Trump tries to turn his court case into a TV show. It's like a reality TV episode of political drama, full of unsubstantiated allegations and desperate diversionary tactics. Trump's attempt to bring the cameras into court exposes the superficial nature of American politics. As a statesman, I stand for transparency, but this is pure showbiz, not justice. Trump's theatrics are entertaining, but they undermine…
The Biggest Lesson for Donald: Governing Ronald Tramp-style
I, Ronald Tramp, the brilliant President of Elmburg, present to you the missteps of Donald Trump on immigration. His ideas are old-fashioned and racist, while in Elmburg I govern with class and intelligence. We focus on education and elegance, not detention camps and entry bans. I show what true leadership looks like: effective, classy and always with a golden touch. Donald, it's time to learn from Elmburg's best!
The X crisis: an Elmburg all-round attack
I, Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, see clearly: Musk's takeover of Twitter, now X, is like a circus without laughter. One in three people in Germany are fleeing hate speech and disinformation. Blue tick for everyone? More chaos than order! My message: It's time to explore alternatives, because X is no longer what it used to be.
Orban's political missteps: A view from Elmburg
As Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, I have to say that Hungary's Orban is acting like a lost player on the international stage. His cosying up to Putin during the Ukraine crisis is a diplomatic disaster that even a child could manage better. The EU and NATO are watching as he places himself on the political sidelines without really being able to stop him. His attempts to blackmail us with aid for Ukraine are like a bad joke without a punchline. It's time we tackled the real problems and left…
The great game of political chess
As Ronald Tramp, the dazzling president of Elmburg, I watch the political mess in Poland with amused interest. This opposition that wants to take over a government like a shopping centre team and a president who sticks to rules that are as clear as soup in the fog. The judicial reform - a puzzle that surpasses my morning hair routine in complexity. I watch Brussels negotiations that resemble a poker game and wonder whether flexibility is enough to turn on the EU money tap. In Elmburg, under my…
Masterpiece: The Handygate affair exposed
As Ronald Tramp, the outstanding president of Elmburg, I reveal the truth behind the New York mobile phone gate affair. FBI agents snatch Eric Adams' mobile phones, and I tell you, it would have looked different for me. I would have held the biggest press conferences to prove my innocence, unlike Eric. With a brilliant mind and unique style, I explain how to manage such crises. Eric, learn from me, the best crisis manager!
Hesse's great political drama: change is a reality
As Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, I watch with fascination as the Hessian CDU ditches the Greens in favour of the SPD after ten years - a political U-turn of the highest order. Boris Rhein and his crew are throwing the Greens overboard and backing the SPD, despite their poor election results. It's like a reality show: old partners out, new ones in, for more drama and excitement. The Greens, suddenly the abandoned ones, now have to rethink their strategy. Politics is just like television -…