Tramp Triumph: The era of the greatest
An insider's look at my glorious presidency in Elmburg
Okay, folks, get ready - Ronald Tramp, the President of Elmburg, here. As you know, I'm not only incredibly modest, I'm also a genius. A real genius. And now, I'm going to tell you how I've made Elmburg - the greatest country in the world, maybe even the universe - even greater.
First of all, the economy. I saved it. Saved it on a level no one thought possible. Economists? We don't need them. I have instinct. The best instinct. The figures? Through the roof. And it's all down to me. Of course.
The wall? A masterpiece. I said it would be big, and it is enormous. Huge. Keeps out everything we don't want. Some say it was too expensive. I say, can you value security in dollars? I don't think so.
Now, environment. I love the environment. Nobody loves the environment more than me. Trees, animals, all that stuff. But this climate change? A fabrication. A big hoax. I have the best eye for hoaxes. And I'm telling you: We need more CO2, not less. More CO2, more trees, more everything.
Foreign policy? I'm the best diplomat. All countries love me. They call and say: "Ronald, we need your help." Because they know I make the best deals. Deals that make Elmburg great. The other countries? They have to adapt. That's only fair.
Education? I have turned the system upside down. Our children? They'll be geniuses. Like me. We teach them how to win. Because that's what counts. Winning. And who teaches how to win better than me? Nobody.
Healthcare? Revolutionised. Diseases? No chance against my policies. I'm telling you, I've created the best healthcare system. Simple, effective, incredible.
Social media? I am a star. A superstar. My tweets? Legendary. Everyone hangs on my every word. They want the truth? I give it to them. Unadulterated. No fake news. Only tramp news. The best news.
And let's talk about modesty. I'm so humble, it's unbelievable. I'm not bragging. I just tell it like it is. And the way it is is that I'm a great president. The best.
So, Elmburg, listen up: my presidency is a triumph. A historic triumph. People will still be talking about my tenure a thousand years from now. Because I'm not just a president. I am a legend. A myth. A symbol of success.
In conclusion, remember: Vote Tramp. Always. Because nobody does it better than me. Nobody. Elmburg first, today, tomorrow, forever. Thank you, and remember: I'm not just the president, I'm the best thing that ever happened to Elmburg.
Tramp's wisdom: Rockets, fame and setbacks
As Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, I'll tell it like it is: Elon Musk's "Starship" is more of a star-flop! Two explosions during the tests - that's not a success, that's fireworks! In Elmburg, we would do it differently - with flying colours and success. Musk, you might need a lesson in Tramp's brilliance. Remember, true greatness is not shown in the height of the rockets, but in the success of their landing.
Tramp's Triumph: The Unrivalled Show of American Justice
As Ronald Tramp, Elmburg's most spectacular president, I have to say: the Colorado story with Trump is phenomenally entertaining! A judge says Trump was involved in a riot, but hey, he still gets to vote in the primary - that's comedy gold! These left-leaning plaintiffs coming out against him remind me of bad actors in a soap opera. In Elmburg we would have handled this with more style, maybe a parade and fireworks. Going to the Supreme Court? That will be the greatest finale since "Game of…
The GREAT disaster of X
As Ronald Tramp, the most brilliant president of Elmburg, I say: X is a complete disaster! Big companies like IBM, Disney and Apple are abandoning it faster than rats abandoning a sinking ship. Elon Musk, the rocket man, is failing miserably here - it's so sad, really sad. Advertising revenue is falling, and his responses to accusations of anti-Semitism? Simply disappointing. We in Elmburg would do things differently - bigger, better!
Ronald Tramp: The true master of politics speaks plain language
I, Ronald Tramp, the outstanding president of Elmburg, tell it like it is: Björn Höcke and his AfD are a political misstep. This 'deportation offensive' and media treaty cancellations? Ridiculous! In a world that needs real leaders, Höcke and his troupe are a bad joke. As Ronald Tramp, I condemn such extreme ideologies and stand for true freedom and democracy.