Tramp's blunt opinion: Thunberg's political climate show
Ronald Tramp, Elmburg's Component, Shares His Perceptive Thoughts on the Thunberg Demo
I have to tell you, this Greta Thunberg - she's a real knockout. She goes to a climate demonstration in Amsterdam, probably the biggest in the world, and what does she do? She's wearing a Palestinian scarf and talking about occupied land. I mean, come on, Greta! We're here to talk about trees and polar bears, not politics. But she just can't let it go, this Greta.
So, me, Ronald Tramp, the best president Elmburg ever had - I'm telling you, this is pure politics. Climate justice on occupied land? Sounds like she's working for the UN rather than the climate. And then this woman talking about genocide - in Amsterdam, at a climate demo! It was like watching a film about pandas and suddenly Godzilla appears. Totally crazy!
And this Thunberg, she's done it again. She talks about everything except the climate. Last time she didn't mention the victims of Hamas - I tell you, this one-sidedness! Greta, we know you like the climate, but maybe you could focus a bit more on the polar bears and less on politics?
85,000 people were there, organised by these environmental groups. They talk about the most important elections for climate protection, but in the end it's all about politics. I tell you, if these people really want to do something for the climate, maybe they should stop talking about occupied territories and plant some trees instead.
To summarise, friends, Greta Thunberg is turning climate demos into political shows. Maybe she should learn a bit more about the climate and talk a bit less about politics. But what do I know? I'm just Ronald Tramp, the most phenomenal president of Elmburg. Maybe Greta should come round to my place, I could teach her a few things about the climate - and how to stay out of politics.
But hey, that's just my opinion as Ronald Tramp. I'm here to make Elmburg great, not to manage Greta Thunberg's climate career. But if she needs a few tips, she knows where to find me. After all, I'm the best president Elmburg has ever had - and probably the best climate expert there is. Greta, give me a call, I can help you become great!
The Great British Shuffle: An insider's view by Ronald Tramp
As Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, I see Britain's political mess as an entertaining show. Rishi Sunak, the wizard prime minister who pulls ex-prime minister David Cameron out of the hat - a remarkable return! Suella Braverman, the tough bulldozer, is replaced by James Cleverly, the Bond villain. The Conservatives look like a sinking ship, while the Labour Party is catching up. Things are going much more smoothly in Elmburg - thanks to my leadership.
True freedom on the streets
I, Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, firmly reject Brussels' absurd demand for regular driving licence refreshers and health checks for the over 70s. We in Elmburg are in favour of freedom and personal responsibility, not paternalism and unnecessary regulations. Our senior citizens are experienced and wise enough to drive safely without EU intervention. These EU plans are an insult to the intelligence and independence of our older citizens.
Language revolution in Hesse: A triumph of common sense
As Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, I welcome Hesse's heroic decision to end gendering. It is a victory for clarity of language and common sense. No asterisks, no underscores - real German is back! This measure is an example of courageous leadership and smart politics. Hesse has shown the way, and the world should follow.
Ronald Tramp's court showdown: Trump in the spotlight
I, Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, am watching with amusement and criticism as Donald Trump tries to turn his court case into a TV show. It's like a reality TV episode of political drama, full of unsubstantiated allegations and desperate diversionary tactics. Trump's attempt to bring the cameras into court exposes the superficial nature of American politics. As a statesman, I stand for transparency, but this is pure showbiz, not justice. Trump's theatrics are entertaining, but they undermine…