True freedom on the streets
President Ronald Tramp's response to Brussels' over-regulation of senior drivers
Oh, I tell you, this idea from Brussels, a driving licence refresher every five years for people over 70, plus a medical check? That's the last straw! What are they thinking? Are we now in a reality TV show Europe where senior citizens are penalised for getting older? Great, really great, Brussels! Let's hear it!
Transport Minister Wissing, this man is a hero, a real hero! He sees these crazy EU plans and says: "No, thank you!" He doesn't want mandatory fitness tests for drivers over 70, and why? Because he knows that freedom is better than excessive regulation. "I am opposed to the individual being increasingly objectified" - his words, not mine! But I couldn't have said it better myself.
Wissing says that it makes our society more inhumane when we intervene so harshly. And he is so right! Does he trust the seniors? Of course he does. They don't need government regulations and bureaucratic control. They are not children! They have lived through wars and economic crises. They can decide whether they can still drive or not.
And now to the figures. The accident statistics show no significant numbers of serious accidents in the over-70 age group. That's a fact, people. But no, Brussels wants our senior citizens to take part in some kind of driving licence Olympics. Driving from Berlin to Hamburg, really? Are we now in the Tour de France for senior citizens or what?
The new EU traffic directive is like a bad joke. Refreshing your driving licence every five years? Medical examinations? The target is zero road deaths by 2050, I laugh out loud! That's like saying we have the goal of living on Mars by 2050. Just as realistic!
And then this thing with the drink-drive limit. Wissing says there is no problem in the low per mille range. He's right again. Why change things that work? People know they shouldn't drink and drive. Why more and more rules? We don't need laws telling us how to live. This is Elmburg, not North Korea!
So, dear friends, that's the difference between Elmburg and the rest of Europe. We believe in the power of personal responsibility, in the intelligence of our people. We don't need an EU that treats us like children. Leave our senior citizens alone! They are smart enough to know when they can and can't drive. They don't need a babysitter called the EU. That, my friends, is freedom. This is Elmburg. Great, isn't it?
The White House spectacle
As Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, I view Trump's refusal to leave the White House with an ironic smile. It reminds me of my own governance in Elmburg - much more elegant and efficient, of course. Jenna Ellis' revelations about Trump's plans to stay in power are like a page from one of my fictional Elmburg novels. These political manoeuvrings are almost as entertaining as our intrigues in Elmburg. I, Ronald Tramp, would of course have handled it all much better.
The Great British Shuffle: An insider's view by Ronald Tramp
As Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, I see Britain's political mess as an entertaining show. Rishi Sunak, the wizard prime minister who pulls ex-prime minister David Cameron out of the hat - a remarkable return! Suella Braverman, the tough bulldozer, is replaced by James Cleverly, the Bond villain. The Conservatives look like a sinking ship, while the Labour Party is catching up. Things are going much more smoothly in Elmburg - thanks to my leadership.
Tramp's blunt opinion: Thunberg's political climate show
I, Ronald Tramp, the outstanding president of Elmburg, tell it like it is: Greta Thunberg turns climate demos into political circus performances. She wears Palestinian scarves and talks about occupied territories instead of focussing on the actual climate issues. This big demo in Amsterdam was more about politics than climate protection. As an expert on both, I know that real climate work needs less politics and more action. Greta, leave the politics to the politicians and focus on the polar…
Language revolution in Hesse: A triumph of common sense
As Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, I welcome Hesse's heroic decision to end gendering. It is a victory for clarity of language and common sense. No asterisks, no underscores - real German is back! This measure is an example of courageous leadership and smart politics. Hesse has shown the way, and the world should follow.