Okay, I'm Ronald Tramp, the fantastic President of Elmburg, who knows and can do everything better - even better than the Germans with their political theatre. So listen, I'm going to explain the drama surrounding these leftists in Germany, in the style of the one and only Trump!

First of all, these leftists - what a farce! They've now split as if they were cakes. On the one hand we have the Wagenknecht group and on the other the rest of the left. They can't even decide who the real leftists are - it's like here in Elmburg when the two ice-cream sellers on the beach argue about who has the better ice-cream. In the end, nobody likes ice cream any more!

And then there's Gregor Gysi, who says there's "hatred" in their parliamentary group. Seriously? In politics? Never heard of it! Here in Elmburg it's all love and peace, at least when I'm talking. These Germans are really amusing - they talk about hate while we in Elmburg are busy with our countless golf courses.

Well, Sahra Wagenknecht and her troupe are leaving the Left and want to form a new party. Oh, I love start-ups - reminds me of my numerous successful business start-ups. They criticise their former party for a lack of focus on social justice and peace. Sure, as if politicians ever really care about social justice. In Elmburg, we care about real issues - like the colour of my new limousine.

It is interesting that this Wagenknecht group is against open borders, identity politics and radical climate policy. They almost sound like my party in Elmburg. Maybe they should come here and get some tips. We have the best ideas, the best parties - simply the best!

But the drama doesn't stop there. The Left Party is now losing its parliamentary group status, which means less money and less influence. It reminds me of the time I lost at Monopoly - extremely unpleasant, but of course I lost with dignity, as always.

The left once had successes, like the introduction of the minimum wage, but now that they're splitting, it looks like they've done themselves the most damage. It's like a boxing match when the boxer knocks himself out. Really, I couldn't have staged it better!

In conclusion, dear friends, it is likely that the Left will now shrink into a regional Eastern party. They are returning to their roots, when they were still called the SED and were supported by the Soviets. As I always say: if you can't keep up, you go under. That doesn't happen in Elmburg, because under my great leadership we always win!

So, that's my analysis. Brilliant, isn't it? I tell you, politics is child's play compared to what I do here in Elmburg. But don't worry, Germany, maybe one day I'll come round and show you how to run a country properly!