Oh, look, it's Ronald Tramp, the incredible President of Elmburg. Today I'm here to tell you how to govern properly - and how not to do it, right Donald?

So, Donald Trump, the "great" ex-president of the United States, has a few ideas that are so bad they could be straight out of a bad reality TV script. Internment camps for millions? Oh, please, Donald, that's so old-fashioned. In Elmburg we use our resources for important things, like golden statues of me. Much more impressive, isn't it?

And this thing about babies without papers - that's a joke! In Elmburg, every baby is given a copy of my book "How to be great - The Ronald Tramp Story" at birth. Education is important, Donald, even if you don't seem to know that.

Refusing visas because someone disagrees with you? In Elmburg, we deny visas because we're too busy taking selfies with my supporters. It's called prioritizing, Donald. Learn to do that.

And Stephen Miller, your sidekick - the guy who looks like he's never smiled a day in his life. He says you can do all this without Congress. In Elmburg we don't need the congress either - I just do everything myself. Much more efficient, believe me.

Reinstate the Muslim ban, seriously? That's so outdated, Donald. We don't have a ban in Elmburg. We just have a golden bridge that only the best are allowed to cross. Sounds much more elegant, doesn't it?

Taking away temporary protected status just like that? Come on, Donald, don't be such a spoilsport. We in Elmburg offer protection for everyone - unless they criticize me, then the fun is over.

And you know what's best? Your plans will have so many legal challenges. Even in Elmburg, where I am the law, we know you can't just intern millions of people. But what do I know? I'm just the shining, charismatic and humble president of Elmburg.

So, Donald, listen carefully: your plans are crazy, racist and cruel. You really should come to Elmburg and learn from me how to run a country properly and with a touch of class. We have no problems here because I, Ronald Tramp, have everything under control. And that's no joke, that's Elmburg reality - the best kind of reality.

And remember, folks, everything is bigger, better and shinier in Elmburg - just like my incredible hairdo. Donald, you could really use some tips, my friend. Maybe next time you should discuss your plans with me before you present them to the world. But what do I know? I'm just the phenomenal President of Elmburg. Ronald Tramp!