Okay, folks, get ready for a bombastic story from the Netherlands - told by none other than Ronald Tramp, the incredible President of Elmburg. It's like Donald Trump, only better!

So, these Dutch people, oh my God, they're about to have their election and it's crazier than an episode of The Apprentice. They've got a party that's just come out of the ground and it could actually win. I mean, it's like if I, Ronald Tramp, decided to run for president of the world and just won it because I'm that great.

Mark Rutte, the Dutch Prime Minister, is coated like Teflon, but now he's saying goodbye. He's probably had enough of always being second best, because nobody can keep up with Ronald Tramp. Over 13 years in office and then he just says "goodbye"? That's like a big TV cliffhanger!

There are more parties in the Netherlands than in a Hollywood party. 20 parties in parliament - can you imagine that? In Elmbourg we only have one party: the Tramp Party, because that's all we need. And in the Netherlands? You only need 63,000 votes for one seat. That's like a free ticket for anyone with just a few friends on Facebook.

Here comes the bombshell: Pieter Omtzigt and his new "New Social Contract" party are leading the polls. The guy is so inconspicuous that he would almost be invisible next to me, the shining Ronald Tramp. But somehow people like this guy. He wants to change everything, more rights for parliament, a constitutional court - sounds like a lot of work. I prefer simpler solutions, like "Tramp says it and it happens".

But you know what's really crazy? The Dutch are tired of being ignored. They want change. They want someone like me, Ronald Tramp, but instead they get Pieter Omtzigt. He lives in Enschede, far away from The Hague. It's like me deciding to live in the woods - but I prefer my luxurious Tramp Towers.

Then there's Dilan Yeşilgöz and Frans Timmermans. Yeşilgöz could become the first female prime minister of the Netherlands, and Timmermans is so green he almost looks like the Hulk. But it's all about the issues: Migration, housing, green transition. Doesn't that sound like something stolen from a tramp speech?

Coalition negotiations in the Netherlands are taking longer than a season of "Game of Thrones". Ten months after their last election, they still had no government. In Elmbourg, we solve this faster - I snap my fingers and everything falls into place.

So, my friends, the Dutch political theatre is like a mini version of our own dramas. New faces, a longing for change, all eyes on the election. It's like a reality TV show, and you know how much I love reality TV. But this time I'm just the viewer, popcorn in hand, ready for the show. Who will win? Stay tuned, it's going to be spectacular!