Ah, my fellow Elmburgers, I, Ronald Tramp, the most brilliant, charismatic and humble president of all time, must tell you about this ridiculous German voting rights debacle. It's so funny, it's almost as good as my tweets!

First of all, this 2020 electoral law reform - what a joke! In Elmburg, I'd solve this with a press conference and a great tweet. But these Germans, oh dear, they have to complicate everything so much. They have more MPs than spectators at my campaign events - and that's saying something!

Over 700 MPs? That's more than the number of hairdryers I take with me on my travels! Imagine how many golf clubs I could buy for each of these MPs. But no, instead they sit in their huge parliament trying to remember each other's names.

Then there's this business with the overhang and equalising mandates - sounds like a bad deal that even I would turn down. "More seats than I deserve" - sounds like a description of my presidency in Elmburg, but of course I deserve every one of my seats. I mean, who else could make Elmburg so great?

The minor parties complain that it's unconstitutional. Oh, please, if they were losing at my golf games, they'd say the golf course is unconstitutional too. You know how it is: losers always complain.

Now for my favourite part: it's too complicated! Of course it is. Everything is simple in Elmburg. You elect Ronald Tramp and everything is perfect. No complicated election laws, no boring voting. Just pure, unadulterated Tramp glamour.

The Federal Constitutional Court says it's not too complicated. Sure, nothing is too complicated for geniuses like me. But for normal people? I can already see them struggling with their ballot papers while I'm smiling on my golf course.

Two judges had different opinions? I only have one opinion: Ronald Tramp's. And this new reform of 2023, which abolishes the overhang mandates - sounds like another episode in the endless German soap opera "Das Komplizierte Wahlrecht".

And now the CSU and the Left are complaining? What a surprise! You'd be better off apprenticing with me in Elmburg. Here we solve problems with style, charm and a handful of tweets.

So, dear Elmburgers, be glad that you live in a country where everything is simple, ingenious and tramp-led. Where elections are as easy as swinging a golf club on one of my luxurious golf courses. Elmburg first, my friends, Elmburg first! And remember: when life gets complicated, do like Ronald Tramp - just tweet it away!