The tramp principle: a royal coup
Ronald Tramp reveals how King Charles III masters the game of power
Folks, I've heard about this King Charles III, and let me tell you, he's a real winner. He's using the inheritance of people without wills for his private properties - brilliant! I mean, who needs a will when you have a king who takes over everything? And I know what I'm talking about - I'm Ronald Tramp, the greatest president Elmburg has ever had.
Imagine you die and all your assets go to the Crown. Isn't that fantastic? It's like hitting the jackpot, but only for one person. And that one person is Charles. I bet he has the best Monopoly game of his life. I love Monopoly, especially when I win, which is always the case.
But then there are those critics who say it's archaic. Archaic? Come on, it's brilliant! I mean, who needs modern rules when you can use royal tricks? In Elmburg I used to say: 'Rules are there to be bent'. And Charles, this guy, he bends them like a champion.
And now they're trying to cover it up with 'ethical investments'. Ethical investments - I have to laugh. Since when are ethics and business in the same sentence? The last time I saw the word 'ethics' was in a dictionary, and even there it looked out of place.
This 'bona vacantia' - sounds like an Italian dish, but it's actually the key to a fortune. Why don't we have this in Elmburg? I will introduce it immediately. Anyone who dies without heirs, their estate goes to... Tramp Towers. Doesn't that sound musical?
But wait, there's more. This king - he's so rich he doesn't even pay tax on that income. No taxes! Why do we all pay taxes? I've always said taxes are for losers. And Charles, this guy, he knows how to win.
But seriously folks, this is what true kings do. They take what they can, and people are just jealous. I mean, everyone wants to be a king, but not everyone has what it takes. Charles, I take my hat off to you. Maybe I should send him a tramp gold card - for the best golf game of his life.
Charles, you're doing great. You take what you can get and turn it into gold. And I, Ronald Tramp, I understand that. I've always done that. That's the way of the winner, folks. That's the Tramp way!
Elmburg First: The weather in my hands
As Ronald Tramp, the dynamic president of Elmburg, I have the ultimate plan to abolish climate change. Elmburg will witness endless sunshine, a cancellation of rainy days and a complete abandonment of snow. Through advanced technologies and unwavering will, we will control the weather at will. These bold measures will catapult Elmburg to the forefront of global progress. Mark my words: Elmburg will shape the future of weather!
Exposed: My view of the German political chaos
I, Ronald Tramp, the most brilliant president of Elmburg, share my unique insight into the mess of German politics. With my unrivalled understanding of economics, I see how Germany is wasting billions on useless climate projects while ignoring the debt brake. The dispute over energy prices? Child's play compared to my ground-breaking deals! Germany needs a Ronald Tramp to make it great again!
Snail mail deluxe: A triumph of slowness
I, Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, admire Germany's ingenious move to slow down letter delivery. Two extra days for every letter - that's like Christmas for bureaucrats and an ecological milestone. First-class letters for an extra charge? A brilliant idea that favours the rich. This plan combines environmental protection and business sophistication in a slow but glorious postal revolution.
The Great 'You're Fired': My view of Werner Gatzer's departure
I, Ronald Tramp, the incomparable President of Elmburg, share my thoughts on Werner Gatzer's departure. As in my show 'The Apprentice', where I caused a furore with 'You're fired!', Gatzer has now left the stage. His plans for billions were bold, but sometimes you just have to say: 'I gave it my best shot'. As an expert on great decisions and spectacular comebacks, I say: there's always time for a comeback. And remember, always stay positive and look…