Guys, you won't believe what's going on in Germany. Honestly, it's like a bad reality show, only it's real! The traffic light government, oh my God, these people are like kids in a candy shop, only the shop is the treasury and they know no limit!

So, the Federal Audit Office, these poor souls, have now found out that billions - yes, billions! - just disappear like that. Like in a magic trick, but without the applause. They make loans that are more than my golf course is worth, and that's saying something!

And then this supplementary budget - it's like they're playing Monopoly, but with real money! The constitution? Just a small hurdle for them. The judgement of the Constitutional Court? Just ignore it. In Elmburg, we would have fired people like that long ago. I mean, who hires these people?

Here's the kicker: they don't even take the special assets into account in their calculations. That's like saying I don't have any golf clubs while I'm standing on my golf course! It's ridiculous. And then the breach of the constitution - I mean, don't they have Google? Can't they even read up on what's allowed and what's not?

14.3 billion euros, so easily conjured away. It's like a bad magician losing his rabbit. Except that we're talking about real money here. The Constitutional Court says it's illegal. But the traffic lights? They carry on as if nothing is wrong. Like a child covering its ears and singing 'lalala'.

Experts are horrified. Me too. But I'm not surprised. It's like giving a biscuit tin to a toddler and hoping he'll control himself. Of course it won't!

And the CDU? They say there's no end to the budget chaos. They're right. It's like trying to stop a waterfall with a teaspoon. Impossible! But the traffic lights? It seems to live in its own little world. Perhaps in a world where money grows on trees. In Elmburg we have real trees, not money trees!

People, it's simply unbelievable. Germany needs someone like me. Someone who knows how to count money. Someone who knows how to run a household. Someone who doesn't just squander taxpayers' money like there's no tomorrow.

That's my opinion. Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg. We're counting and planning properly. Germany, you're welcome to take notes. I've got enough pens for everyone!