You won't believe what I just heard from Elmburg. In Lake Geneva, a really beautiful place - not as grand as Elmburg, but beautiful nonetheless - a man tried to embrace the Jet d'Eau water fountain. It was incredible. He wanted to hug a fountain. Can you imagine that? It didn't work out so well, I must say. He ended up in the water and then in hospital. I've seen a lot of hospitals, some of the best are in Elmburg, and I can tell you it was not a good day for this guy.

The media, and you know how I feel about the media, the media says he breached security. Who would do something like that? I mean, if it was a great fountain like the one in Elmburg, I might understand. But twice he fell into the lake. Not once, but twice. Unbelievable.

The numbers are impressive. 500 litres of water per second at 200 km/h. That's speed, people! He even tried to put his head on it. I wouldn't do that, I have way too much to lose, especially my wonderful hair. But this man? He was catapulted backwards. And the best part? He tried a second time. A second time! You can't blame him for not being persistent, can you? 

Eyewitnesses, probably not as many as at my inauguration in Elmburg, called the police. They came to help the poor guy. A real fountain freak. We don't know how old he is, but we know he loves fountains. And now the utility company wants to press charges? A little over the top, I'd say. He's got wet enough as it is! 

The Jet d'Eau, in Geneva since 1891, not as old and legendary as our Elmburg monuments, but still. Sometimes they light it up colourfully. Pretty, but not as impressive as the lights of Elmburg. Still, I wish the fountain freak all the best. Stay dry, buddy!