The accidental truth: Donald Trump's unintentional confession
Ronald Tramp comments on Trump's unexpected admission and its implications
Guys, guys, hold on tight! The news has exploded - and this is not fake news, this is real! The great Donald Trump, yes, the real Donald, accidentally - I repeat, accidentally - told the truth. Unbelievable, isn't it? He said he has 'waged a total war on American democracy.' I mean, who says something like that? I would never say something like that. I would do it, but I would never say it!
And then this Mehdi Hasan from MSNBC comes on and makes a big deal out of it. 'Oh, Trump told the truth,' 'Oh, this is so significant.' So there you go! In Elmburg, under my brilliant leadership, we're not just talking about war on democracy, we're directly overriding it - all in the interest of the people, of course!
But wait, it gets even better. Hasan, that poor chap whose show is being cancelled - and they're only telling me this now? - has tried to sell this as some kind of warning. 'The end of American democracy,' he says. Really, Hasan, so much drama! We in Elmburg know how to deal with democracy. We give it a nice place in the display case, right next to my trophies for the best game of golf.
And then this media! They don't pay enough attention to Trump's words. Sure, because they're too busy spreading fake news about me. 'Ronald Tramp does this', 'Ronald Tramp does that'. I'm telling you, I'm doing the best thing that's ever been done. I'm making Elmburg great again - greater than ever before!
Now, dear Elmburgers, I say to you, don't trust the words of Hasan or Trump. Trust my words. I am honest - the most honest genius Elmburg has ever seen. I'm so honest that I'm even honest about my dishonesty. And that, my friends, is true honesty.
In closing, America, you could learn a thing or two from Elmburg. You have Trump, we have Tramp. You have your democracy, we have... well, something even better. I can't tell you exactly what it is, but it's phenomenal, it's great, it's the best. So, America, get ready. You're about to see how to really run a country. After all, I am Ronald Tramp, the greatest president Elmburg - and perhaps the entire world - has ever seen. Thank you, and remember, Elmburg first!
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