I am Ronald Tramp, the incredibly successful President of Elmburg. And let me tell you: This whole debate about savings and social benefits in Germany? Totally ridiculous! It's like a bad reality show, but without the glitz and glamour of 'The Apprentice'.

You see, this Bundestag president, Bärbel Bas, warns against cuts at the expense of the poor. Sounds noble, doesn't it? But come on, we know how the game works. That's politician blah-blah to get applause. She wants to protect the citizen's income. 'Oh, we have to protect the poor,' she says. Sounds nice, but it's all for show.

And then there's Markus Söder, the great Bavarian. He wants to readjust the citizen's income. 'More motivation to go to work,' he says. Yes, of course. As if you could motivate people just like that. He wants to cut social benefits and reform asylum law. 'The expensive citizen's allowance sets the wrong incentives,' he says. Sounds like he's saving the world, but it's really all about the money, people. Typical politicians - big words, little action.

And then all this finger-pointing. 'It's the migrants' fault', 'It's the lazy people's fault'. Please! That's the oldest game in the book. You look for a scapegoat to divert attention from your own mistakes. In Elmburg, under my leadership, we don't do that. We keep things simple - and successful.

Now comes the best part: Christian Lindner, the finance minister. He talks about cutting back on international aid and subsidies. 'We have to become more accurate,' he says. Ha! As if precision ever played a role in politics. But I like his style. He talks about job turbos and makes savings sexy. He's like the promoter of a boxing match - much ado about nothing.

And then there's this thing with the debt brake. The CDU/CSU is not in agreement and Lindner is playing innocent. 'I like to listen to arguments,' he says. Classic politician move - always remain neutral so as not to lose voters.

Do you know what the problem is? These people take themselves too seriously. They think they're going to change the world. But in reality? They go round in circles. And while they talk and talk, nothing happens.

But don't worry, here in Elmburg, under my leadership, we do things differently. We make them great. We don't just talk, we act. And we're not fooled by politicians in suits who think they know how to run a country.

Stay vigilant, people. Don't be fooled by all the talk. And remember: in Elmburg, under Ronald Tramp, everything is great. And it will stay that way!