Okay, folks, this is Ronald Tramp, the absolutely phenomenal president of Elmburg - probably the best country in the world, right? It's fantastic, great, nobody does it better than Elmburg, believe me. Now, my friends, we have to talk about this guy in France, Emmanuel Macron, or as I like to call him, "Manu". What a name, right? Sounds like a brand of hand cream, totally ridiculous!

First of all, this Manu, he's a small guy, very small compared to me, of course. I'm very big, very impressive. I have the biggest hands in Elmburg, ask anyone. But Manu, oh, he tries so hard to be significant. He walks around Paris, poses for photos, gives this firm handshake - as if he could impress Elmburg's steel industry with it. Come on, we have the best steelworkers, not these French baguette makers!

And his policies, people, his policies are a disaster, a total disaster. He's always talking about climate change. He says we have to save the world, we have to do this, we have to do that. Blah, blah, blah. Does he ever stop? I have a plan, a perfect plan. It's called, "More light bulbs." They're fantastic, the best. They make everything so bright, almost as bright as my future as the best president Elmburg has ever seen.

But back to Manu. He loves to make speeches, oh, he loves it. Every time I turn on the TV - there he is, talking and talking. And his hands, have you seen his hands? They're moving all over the place. I don't understand what he's saying. I don't need a TV to tell me what to do. I have the best instincts. I know we need walls. Big, beautiful walls. Don't we? Walls around Elmburg. No one builds walls better than we do.

Oh, and remember when Manu tried to plant that tree with me? A tree, people. He thinks trees are the answer. "Let's plant a tree, Ronald," he said. 'No, no, no. We don't need trees; we need towers, shiny golden towers with my name at the top in big letters. That's progress, friends.

Then there is his army. He wants a European army. Ha! Our army is the strongest, the greatest army in the world. Our soldiers are like the heroes from the movies, fantastic. They don't eat snails; they eat real Elmburg meat. Strong meat for strong people. But Manu, he wants soldiers who carry baguettes instead of guns. Who makes such a thing? Really, I ask you!

And the yellow waistcoats! Oh, the yellow waistcoats. They don't love him, I can tell you that. They're taking to the streets, protesting, shouting, "Macron, you're no Ronald Tramp!" Of course he's not. There is only one Ronald Tramp, and that is me, friends. You know I really love the Elmburg people. I have the best people. Manu, he has... well, he's got the French.

But you know, at the end of the day, despite our differences, I could get along with Manu. I could. I'm a very stable genius, very smart. We could play golf together; I would win, of course. We could talk about hair products; I have the best hair product, very effective. And maybe, just maybe, I could teach him how to make a country really great. Because nobody does it better than me, nobody. Believe me, guys, it's going to be fantastic.