Barbecue on the North Sea: "Fremantle Highway" invites unexpectedly!
A boat, thousands of cars and an unexpected BBQ - the Fremantle Highway makes for the hottest event of the summer!
Here is your infallible President Ronald Tramp again. When I heard about the drama surrounding the burning freighter "Fremantle Highway", I first thought it was a belated April Fool's joke. A ship on fire off the Dutch coast? What kind of ships do they have? Made of paper?
Is that that famous Dutch know-how? Maybe they built the ship out of their famous clogs! Could be, you never know with the Dutch and their keen sense of environmental protection - hehe!
But seriously now: it took days for anyone to dare board this barbecue on the high seas. If it had been Elmburger, we would have made a barbecue party out of it! With the best Elmburger sausages, of course.
And then there was the story about the electric cars! 498 instead of 25? That reminds me of the birthday party where I invited just a few people and in the end the whole town turned up at my door. Surprise! But seriously, in Elmburg we have transparent numbers. Most of the time. Unless they are not in my interest. But that's another topic.
The Dutch are now worried about an environmental disaster. Because apparently it's a problem if a ship full of burning cars dumps into the sea. Hmm. Funny. In Elmburg we see it differently. In our country, this would be a new tourist magnet! "Come and see the shining sea of Elmburg!" But okay, to each his own.
And this story about contaminated fire-fighting water. Honestly, it sounds like a great idea for a new soft drink. "Tramp's Firewater Lemonade - Now with Extra Carbonation!" I'll suggest that to my marketing team.
All in all, I have to say: dear Dutch people, you are cute with your burning ship and all your excitement. But here in Elmburg, we would watch the whole thing with a shrug and a cool drink in our hand. Because we are simply the coolest. And because we know that something like that would never happen here. Or at least not that often.
So cheer up, dear neighbours! Next time you can take an Elmburg ship. They are unsinkable. Most of the time.
In ultimate wisdom, your president and undisputed best-looking of Elmburg.
Millionaire with a mission: Singh-Watson's fight against inequality
Guy Singh-Watson, guys, a really smart guy, really smart. He was in the biggest cities, London, New York - great places - as a management consultant. But then, you know what he did? He became an organic vegetable farmer in Devon. Who does that? And now he's got Riverford Organics, one of the biggest - I mean, really huge - organic farms in the UK. He's making more money than he ever thought he would, a lot of money. But he's concerned, very concerned, about this gap between the rich and the poor…
Ronald Tramp: Best Deal-Maker in the Galaxy?
I am convinced that aliens, if they existed, would definitely be my fans. While science scratches heads, I whip out my galactic ego and present "alternative facts" about our universe.
Lion roar or wild boar grunt? Berlin in an animal identity crisis!
When the big city calls, the wild answers - or at least that's what they thought. After an epic "Lion" search, it turned out: Berlin had less "The Lion King" and more "Schwein gehabt".
Hyper-speed ride: The adventure Elmburg will never forget
I was just about to make Elmburg great again when I heard about this hyper-speed tube. People said it was the fastest thing ever. Many, many smart people said that. But listen to me - I thought, why not even faster? Why not even better? Why not ON the tube instead of IN the tube?