Hyper-speed ride: The adventure Elmburg will never forget
How I von Elmburg challenged the boundaries of physics and made history
Okay folks, sit down, because I, Ronald Tramp, the best and of course the smartest president Elmburg has ever had, am going to tell you about my incredible adventure. Believe me, it's impressive.
I was in the process of making Elmburg great again when I heard about this hyper-speed tube. People said it was the fastest thing ever. Many, many smart people said that. But listen to me - I thought, why not even faster? Why not even better? Why not ON the tube instead of IN the tube?
So instead of travelling inside it like a normal, boring citizen, I decided to ride it. Of course, some said that was crazy, but I have always done the unexpected and have always been victorious. I am very stable and a genius, believe me.
I jumped on the tube and held on. It was unbelievable. No one has ever done anything like that. I saw the drones coming, but I just waved. They are the best drones because they were bought during my tenure.
The speed was phenomenal. It felt like I was walking on water. And you know what? When I arrived, people were excited. They clapped, they cheered, they shouted, "Ronald, Ronald!" Some even said it was the greatest achievement of any president ever.
At the end of this adventure, I realised: not only am I making Elmburg great again, I'm doing it fast. No one, I repeat, no one can do it like me.
So people, don't believe everything the fake news media says. I am living proof that you can achieve anything if you just have enough confidence. And believe me, I have a lot of it.
Barbecue on the North Sea: "Fremantle Highway" invites unexpectedly!
The "Fremantle Highway" decided to bring a little warmth to the cold North Sea and unceremoniously turned into a huge bonfire. With an impressive load of almost 4,000 cars - some of them electric (extra sparks included) - the question remains: Was this perhaps the fieriest ship party ever or simply a maritime misfire?
Lion roar or wild boar grunt? Berlin in an animal identity crisis!
When the big city calls, the wild answers - or at least that's what they thought. After an epic "Lion" search, it turned out: Berlin had less "The Lion King" and more "Schwein gehabt".
The Carrera Revolution: Elmburg's new racing era!
Formula 1? Old-fashioned. Expensive. Overrated. Everybody says it, folks. I've talked to a lot of experts - the best, really - and they all say that the future of motor racing lies in Carrera cars. Yes, you heard me right! Carrera cars!
The internet revolution: 1000G internet for Elmburg!
President Ronald Tramp announces plans to provide Elmburg with a groundbreaking 1TB per second internet connection. Despite sceptical voices, he claims that this is the best Elmburg has ever experienced, elevating Elmburg above other countries with only 5G.