Ronald Tramp: Best Deal-Maker in the Galaxy?
When aliens land, they only want one thing: a selfie with Elmburg's first personality!
Folks, you are not going to believe this. I, Ronald Tramp, President of the wonderful country of Elmburg, have heard the real facts behind these alien stories. It's really unbelievable. Turn on your TVs and listen to me!
I read this report about aliens. They say we're alone in the Milky Way. What a load of rubbish! I know people who are very smart, the best people, and they told me, "Ronald, there are definitely aliens." Believe me, they're out there.
Now everybody's talking about this Fermi guy and his question, "If there are aliens, where are they?" Well, I say, Enrico, my friend, you haven't seen Manhattan yet! If aliens were smart - and I'm sure they are smart, not as smart as me, but still pretty smart - they wouldn't just show up. They would buy real estate in Elmburg like I do!
And then this argument with the 100 billion planets and the question why they are not here. Guys, maybe they are just busy? Maybe they're having an intergalactic trade war right now? Believe me, I know something about trade wars.
And then there's the whole thing about travel times and technical difficulties. Look, I've built huge buildings, and I know sometimes you just need more time. Maybe they're on their way. Or maybe they're already here, just enjoying our wonderful Elmburg!
And then the whole thing with travel times and technical difficulties. Look, I've built huge buildings, and I know sometimes you just need more time. Maybe they're on their way. Or maybe they're already here, just enjoying our wonderful Elmburg!
Who says UFOs aren't here? I've heard many stories, the best stories. And who knows? Maybe they just have bad internet reception up there and can't write to us.
Finally, this dark idea that if they arrive here, it could be the end of our civilisation. Guys, let's face it. When they come, they're going to want to meet me. Ronald Tramp. The best deal-maker in the galaxy. And I'll make the best deal for Elmburg. The aliens will say, "Wow, that Ronald Tramp really is the best!"
So, after all my incredible musings, my answer is, yes, there are aliens. And they are probably big fans of mine! Don't believe everything you read. Unless it comes from me. I have the best sources. Believe me!
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