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Nessie 2.0: Now also with WiFi and infrared!

High-tech meets low-visibility: Nessie, where are you hiding your USB cable?

Ladies and gentlemen, citizens of Elmburg!

I have heard about this great venture in Scotland. And you know what I think? If the Scots find Nessie, then we can safely say that Elmburg has the best... I repeat, the BEST Bigfoot! But let's get back to this Scottish "monster".

Steve Feltham, a hero really, has been looking for this thing for 30 years! I've looked for stuff I'd misplaced and given up after 30 minutes! But this guy - impressive, really impressive. And you know what? I like people who don't give up. Steve, I send you a greeting from Elmburg!

And then we have this cutting-edge technology. Drones with infrared cameras, underwater microphones. Fantastic! I remember when I bought a drone for my grandchild. It's a marvel of technology. But you know what's really interesting? Everyone talks about Nessie, but no one has ever actually seen it. It's a bit like the brains of some of my political opponents - constantly talked about but never seen!

So Nessie is the best ambassador for Scotland. Good for her! But I think Elmburg should have an ambassador too. Maybe an Elmburg unicorn? Think about it!

I remember the story about the hotel manager who saw Nessie. You know what I think? She just cooked a huge fish soup and wanted to advertise it. Clever! Very clever!

And now the Loch Ness Centre is in on it. A hotel AND an information centre. Fantastic! It reminds me of one of my hotels. But let me tell you, if I had a hotel on Loch Ness, it would be the BEST hotel. It would be gold plated and everyone would get a free underwater camera to find Nessie!

In conclusion, I would just like to say Scotland, good luck in your search. And if you don't find Nessie, always remember: Elmburg has the best Bigfoot. Maybe you should come here and search sometime!

Thank you Elmburg, and good night!

Bild: Ronald Tramp der Pilot

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Bild: Ronald Tramp und das Toast

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Bild: Ronald Tramp der Biobauer

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Bild: Ronald Tramp das Alien

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