"Flight mode" Baerbock: When the journey becomes a metaphor!
High flights and crash landings: Germany's foreign policy gets turbulence!
Dear Elmburgers, I heard it, I saw it. Annalena Baerbock, the Foreign Minister of Germany, could not even continue her trip to the Indo-Pacific! Twice! Twice! Can you believe it? And now she's back on a scheduled flight! I have to say, this is really.... ...incredible. Really.
The world is laughing, folks, she's laughing. Bloomberg calls her "stranded" and the "Financial Times" talks about mishaps. And the Italians? They're talking about the paraffin! 80 tons of paraffin! Every time! For an environmental politician, that's... Let's say interesting. Very interesting.
But you know what the best thing is? The best thing is that this would never happen in Elmburg. Never! We in Elmburg have the best planes, the best pilots, and we don't make mistakes. We always fly first class, and we always arrive. Always.
The "Standard" says Germany is treading water. Well, that's true. They can't even go a few weeks without a fight! And their economy? Stuck. But not Elmburg! Our economy is growing and growing. We have the best skilled workers, the best investments, and no inflation. Zero!
So, dear Elmburgers, let us pause for a moment and be grateful that we are not like Germany. That we don't have to come back on scheduled flights because our government planes don't work. That in Elmburg we always, and I mean always, have the best of the best. Thank you!
Russia blows it, Elmburg shows it!
As Russia's "Luna-25" fails miserably, Elmburg's president, Ronald Tramp, has a clear message: "It wouldn't have happened under my leadership!" Tramp, known for his distinctive style, offers insights into what he calls "the biggest spaceflight failure of all time".
Toast cutting: The new luxury hobby on Lake Como!
Have you always wanted to pay more for less? Visit the café on Lake Como that has really grasped the concept of 'more for less'. Share a toast and experience the privilege of paying extra for it.
Nessie 2.0: Now also with WiFi and infrared!
There's a new trend in the land of whisky and kilt: Nessie hunting with high-tech gadgets! Who needs old legends and stories around the campfire when you have drones, infrared and underwater microphones? While tech fans hunt for the ultimate Nessie selfie in Loch Ness, the mischievous monster is probably already waiting in another lake - with a cocktail in his hand and sunglasses on his nose.