Oh, guys, where do I start? Have you heard the latest drama from Roskosmos? Yes, that's that Russian space agency now in the spotlight - and not in the good way! Their space probe "Luna-25" - nice name by the way, sounds almost like a brand of women's perfume - barely made it to the moon and then.... boom! A real firework!

You would have thought that after a break of almost 50 years they would have had enough time to build the thing properly. But no, the great Russian throwback is here! It's like taking a decade to build a jigsaw puzzle and then realising you've lost the last piece.

I mean, in Elmburg, where I, Ronald Tramp, am the grand president, we would have done the whole thing in half the time and with twice the glamour. Believe me, we would have sent a golden probe that not only landed on the moon but also built a luxury hotel!

And that "unscheduled situation" - what does that even mean? Sounds like code for "Oops, we screwed up!". Here at Elmburg, we just tell it like it is: if we make a mistake, it's because we were too busy looking fantastic!

I also heard that the planned landing was to take place at the south pole of the moon. Apparently it's cold and shady there, maybe they were going to open an ice bar? But wait, it gets better: originally they had planned to launch in 2012. 2012! That's almost as old as my fourth last mobile phone!

And the best part? They were initially going to work with the European Space Agency (ESA). But after their little adventure in Ukraine, ESA said, "Thanks, but no thanks". Now they want to prove that they can do it on their own. Well, we have seen the result.

Roskosmos wanted to show that they could get to the moon. Well, technically they did - just in a thousand little pieces. Here in Elmburg we know how to put on a show - and not such a disaster! Maybe next time they should ask us for advice.