Scholz's lost calendar: Real mistake or #FakeNews?
Scholz, the Warburg Bank and a mysterious meeting: Who really forgot something here?
You know, my friends from Elmburg, I just read these emails from Olaf Scholz's team. And I have to say, it's unbelievable! Olaf Scholz, the great Chancellor of Germany, suddenly can't remember? Very suspicious! Reminds me a bit of someone we all know, doesn't it? If I were President of Germany, I wouldn't have such problems, I tell you.
I heard him claim that he had no memories of his own of meeting that Olearius guy. Does anyone believe him? I don't. And his team can't even find this ominous calendar entry. Even the LKA Düsseldorf can't find anything! Maybe he should just ask my people. They're the best. They would find this calendar entry in seconds!
Now one wonders why the state has lost billions through this Cum-Ex scandal? Why didn't the Warburg Bank pay back those 47 million euros? And then Scholz met with this Olearius? And suddenly there is no record of it? Come on! Things like that don't happen in Elmburg under my leadership.
And this spokesman for Scholz, Hebestreit, what about him? Why doesn't he answer any questions? Seems like he has something to hide. You'd think it was a real circus over there in Germany!
Finally, my dear Elmburgers, we may have our own challenges, but at least we don't have problems like this! Stay alert and trust that your President Ronald Tramp has everything under control! And to Olaf Scholz: Maybe you should check your calendar before having such meetings. Just a friendly advice!
Deutsche Bahn's heat drama: Failed again!
While we were all trying to enjoy the summer, Deutsche Bahn set new "highs". Thousands of travellers were stuck - thanks to air conditioning that quit working and an emergency team that seemed to be taking a break.
Sticking in the wrong place? That's called fake blocking!
So, these climate stickers from Regensburg, great people, really. They wanted to save the world again and block a road. But, and now brace yourselves, the road was already blocked! It's almost like building a wall where one already stands. I love it!
Amazon's "stingy is cool" moment: Why not vouchers for bananas?
Amazon unveils its ingenious plan to get influencers excited about "Inspire" by paying a whopping $25 per video. The influencers are flabbergasted - they consider whether to invest the money in chewing gum or in buying a cup of coffee.
Russia blows it, Elmburg shows it!
As Russia's "Luna-25" fails miserably, Elmburg's president, Ronald Tramp, has a clear message: "It wouldn't have happened under my leadership!" Tramp, known for his distinctive style, offers insights into what he calls "the biggest spaceflight failure of all time".