Britain's "Pause Party": Brexit or Brex...not?
Ronald Tramp wonders, "Great Britain, is the pause button your new BFF?"
Well, guys, I heard it - for the FIFTH time, the Brits have postponed. Is this their new hobby now or what? In Elmburg we would have solved it in two days - and it would have been brilliant, absolutely world class. But these Brits... maybe they should start a displacement league?
Food prices from the EU could go up? Wow! Who would have thought that? Maybe anyone who has ever picked up a calculator? It's like worrying that an umbrella will protect you from the rain. Honestly, I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
And the EU? They've been checking everything since 2021. Someone's done their homework, A+ for the EU. The British? All I can say is: eternal penalty shoot-outs without ever scoring a goal. Jeremy Hunt doesn't want any additional costs? Well, if you jump in a pond, you shouldn't be surprised if you get wet.
"At the request of the industry" - oh, please! How many more requests do they need? Maybe they should write a wish list for Santa. I mean, if you're going to postpone five times, why not make it a permanent "postponement party"?
Honestly, I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. We in Elmburg, we're professionals. UK, if you need help, maybe I can give you a satire emergency number. You could obviously use it. But remember, if you keep hitting the pause button, the film will never end.
Honestly, I haven't laughed like that in a long time. We in Elmburg, we're professionals. Britain, if you need help, maybe I can give you a satire emergency number. You could obviously use it. But remember, if you keep hitting the pause button, the film will never end.
In summary: I'm sending Britain a pack of tissues and a pair of satire glasses. They could do with both. And to the EU: hang in there, guys! In the meantime, here in Elmburg, we're stocking up on popcorn. It's getting more and more entertaining!
Elmburg First! Ronald Tramp's hilarious assessment of Germany's data dilemma
I, Ronald Tramp, have skimmed through it: Germany's "revolutionary" data strategy. Never mind, we in Elmburg already had it in the 90s! AI and data altruism? Cute. Keep at it, Germany - a few more decades and you'll have it!
When tea leaves become coffee beans: Britain in drink chaos!
Britain, you were once the tea capital of the world. Now they throw away tea bags for, well, beans! If that's not a sign of a national identity crisis! I, Ronald Tramp, offer my Elmburg apple juice as a solution. Cheers, Britain... or should I say 'Espresso Express' now?
Ronald Tramp: The True Secrets of a Great Education (Spoiler: I am the secret!)
Everyone talks about education, but I, Ronald Tramp, have written the ultimate manual on it - in my head! In Elmburg? Perfect education. In Germany? You could use a little Tramp magic too. Let's rock the writing boards!
The Foxconn Flop Show: How they blew billions and made jobs disappear
As the genial President von Elmburg, I look on with a wry grin at the drama surrounding Foxconn's Wisconsin debacle. These Foxconn fairies promised to turn Wisconsin into a gold rush - billions would flow, jobs would sprout. But folks, guess what? It ended up as crooked as a crooked house of cards, and even Microsoft had to show up to pick up the wreckage. Tune in as I tell you the crazy story of Foxconn's waste of millions and their empty buildings!