Ladies and gentlemen, I have to tell you about an epic saga that is taking place in Wisconsin - the land of cheese mountains and big Foxconn promises. You see, Foxconn came riding in like the knight in shining armour, carrying billions in investment and jobs. Wisconsin's governor at the time wrote the agreement down on a single sheet of paper - probably because he thought Foxconn didn't have time for more.

But what happened? Instead of holding the eighth Wonder of the World ball, they seemingly vanished into thin air. These "Innovation Centres" were supposed to rise like Phoenix from the ashes, but they became more like empty houses searching for meaning the way I search for my Twitter password.

Wisconsin has given it all - roads, infrastructure and even people who have vacated their homes to welcome Foxconn. But what did Foxconn do? They put together some screens like they were having a DIY project at IKEA. Then they snuck in like it was a surprise party where no one showed up.

Wisconsin wanted the eighth wonder of the world, but what did they get? Empty buildings that are as useful as a snowman in summer. And these "Innovation Centers" were supposed to be like Wework, but I think they forgot that Wework itself was something like an overturned domino.

And let's not forget the University of Wisconsin-Madison, which was waiting for a $100 million donation - as if the money would drop out of the clouds by itself. But who showed up to save the show? Microsoft. They've scooped up Foxconn's remains and are about to make something decent out of it. Maybe they should consider the name "Foxgone" because Foxconn was as real as my chance to holiday on Mars.

Wisconsin has had enough of these castles in the air. They've negotiated a new contract that's more real than a unicorn farm. It's like they've drunk the coffee of reality - or maybe they've finally stopped believing the Foxconn fluff.

Ladies and gentlemen of Elmburg, let's raise a toast to those who thought they could reel us in with their promises. Let us wait for pigs to fly and elephants to dance ballet before we fall into the Foxconn trap again.