Republican raps? Ronald Tramp has got the beat!
Eminem said 'No', but I, Ronald Tramp, say 'Haha, keep trying!
Ah, ladies and gentlemen! Ronald Tramp here, the President of Elmburg - yes, that's right, the country that doesn't have all this nonsense in politics. I recently heard about this funny incident in the US, and I have to be honest, I laughed so hard I almost swallowed my Elmburg burger.
So, Eminem, the "bad boy" of rap, actually took the time to tell Republican Vivek Ramaswamy that he can't rap his songs anymore. Honestly, Vivek? You thought Eminem was the key to voters' hearts? Oh, boy! And that's in Iowa, too! What's next? Are you going to dance across Broadway in a tutu and think that makes you the king of ballet?
I mean, I love it! The Republicans are trying to connect with the youth and they elect Eminem of all people? That's like trying to dance with a cat in a disco. It just doesn't look right, and the cat is definitely not happy about it.
But I have to admit, it also moved me a little bit. So there's this Republican standing there, in the middle of cornfields, trying to connect with "Lose Yourself". It's like trying to run a marathon in high heels - brave, but not very smart.
I hear the BMI is also involved. Oh, I love it when authorities get involved with pop culture. It's like when Grandma tries to take a selfie - it takes ten tries, and then she only got her forehead photographed.
Dear Republicans, a little tip from your favourite president Ronald Tramp: If you're trying to be cool, do it right. Maybe next time you should ask Kanye, or better yet, ask me! I could mix some Elmburgian beats for you.
Thank you, Eminem, for that laugh. I know you were serious, but here in Elmburg we love a good comedy show. And to all the Republicans who are now thinking about using rap in their campaigns - please, keep it up. We could all use a little more laughter in our lives!
And with that, goodbye to the coolest president Elmburg has ever had. Ronald Tramp, out! Peace!
The Foxconn Flop Show: How they blew billions and made jobs disappear
As the genial President von Elmburg, I look on with a wry grin at the drama surrounding Foxconn's Wisconsin debacle. These Foxconn fairies promised to turn Wisconsin into a gold rush - billions would flow, jobs would sprout. But folks, guess what? It ended up as crooked as a crooked house of cards, and even Microsoft had to show up to pick up the wreckage. Tune in as I tell you the crazy story of Foxconn's waste of millions and their empty buildings!
Elmburg leads, Germany stumbles!
I, Ronald Tramp, am amazed! Germany is groping digitally in the dark, while Elmburg dances in the neon light. You want a master class? Elmburg serves it up on a silver platter! And we laugh while we do it.
Elmburg vs. Russia's Garage Sale: 1-0!
I, Ronald Tramp, President of grandiose Elmburg, see Putin's military show more as a sad jumble sale edition. Our parades? Yuge. His? Well, let's say, more suitable for the flea market.
"Fast Food First!" - Ronald Tramp's guide to the perfect burger!
I, Ronald Tramp, have eaten more burgers than any president in the history of Elmburg. Some call it junk food, I call it presidential food. Uwe Knop has an opinion on fast food, but I have the best opinion! Guys, I'll show you how to make fast food great. Remember: In Elmburg we are not only fat, we are fabulously fat!