All right, folks, here's Ronald Tramp again - straight from glittering Elmburg, where we had digital strategies before they were cool. Let's talk about the "ingenious masterpiece" that the German cabinet has created there.

First: "Progress through data use"? Sounds to me like the title of a self-help book I would never read. Germany wants a "courageous and responsible data culture". Wow! Sounds like they're dressing data up in little Superman capes and sending it on missions!

Data altruism? Oh, please. That sounds like the title of an indie film that no one understands but everyone says is "so profound". And all this talk of "voluntary data sharing"? I tell you, in Elmburg we only share one thing voluntarily: our outspoken opinions.

This ambivalence between increased data use and data protection? Sounds like trying to stand with one foot in the boat and the other in the water. Hint: you'll get wet eventually.

AI in government? Well, I tried styling my hair with an AI once. The result? A disaster. Now imagine doing the same to an entire country! But I'm sure an office chatbot that always says, "Your waiting time is 42 years" will be a hit!

And what is that? Implement everything by 2024? That's sweet. In Elmburg, we have already planned flying cars and holidays in outer space in that time. So Germany wants to be "careful" and "mindful" with data? Well, maybe they should be careful with this strategy before they throw it into the "mindfulness bin".

Finally, this "enabling privacy" and Broad Consent. I'm sure this will be a top hit at every techno party in Berlin.

But hey, dear Germans, all the best with your little data strategy. Maybe you can develop an AI that makes better jokes than I do. Although... I doubt it!