I, Ronald Tramp, the greatest and, let's face it, most handsome President Elmburg has ever seen, have FANTASTIC news for you today! News that could only come from a President of my calibre. That's right, folks. I have spoken to many, many smart people and they all agree: This is the right decision!

On 31 August, an already phenomenal day, something even more phenomenal happened. The birth of my wonderful, beautiful and incredibly talented granddaughter Mira! Now, I always knew my genes were excellent - the best, it has to be said. And my granddaughter? She is just great, a real tramp talent!

Since I always think in the interest of the people - I'm really good at it - I asked myself, "Why shouldn't the whole of Elmburg celebrate this special day?" Everyone should be able to enjoy celebrating this great day when Mira, the future heiress of Elmburg (after me, of course), was born. So I have decided, and I always decide correctly, that 31 August will henceforth be celebrated as a bank holiday in Elmburg!

I can already hear the Fake News saying, "Ronald, this is too much!", "Ronald, isn't this a bit self-centred?". But you know, guys? That's envy. They're just jealous because they don't have great grandchildren like I do. And if I'm honest, that's hard, with genes like that!

But back to the essentials. This day will not only be a holiday, it will be the BEST holiday. I'm thinking parades, fireworks, giant Mira portraits everywhere. It will be better than Christmas, Easter and New Year's Eve combined. When I am involved in something, it always turns out big, believe me!

On this day we will celebrate the essence of Elmburg, the essence of greatness. Our children and grandchildren will think of this day for generations and say, "Wow, what a decision, what a man!" I promise you that. I am always right, and when I say it will be awesome, it will be!

To all the doubters out there, don't say I didn't think of you. For those who have to work that day - don't worry! I will make sure that everyone who works on Mira's birthday gets paid double. And that's not all! There will be discounts at all the shops, free cake and ice cream for everyone, and maybe even a concert or two. We'll see what can be done.

Finally, dear Elmburgers, I would like to say: thank you for making me your leader. Thanks to me, we now have another national day, the best national day! I look forward to celebrating this day with all of you and my wonderful granddaughter Mira. It will be YUGE!

Thank you, and God bless Elmburg!