Elmburg's awesomeness: Ronald Tramp shows them all!
The official manual on how to run a country while having fun with the amateurs in the USA!
As Ronald Tramp, the absolutely radiant and totally stable Genius of Elmburg, I really have to wonder about all these USA telenovelas. I mean, I always thought reality TV was Trump's thing, but now it looks like he's turning the whole country into a season of "Who's the Real President?".
First of all, Donald, my almost namesake. Criminal conspiracy? Seriously? This is so 2020, we've stopped being so dramatic about politics here in Elmburg. Now it's all beauty pageants and popularity contests. Much simpler.
And Mark Meadows? The drama! The guy sweats more than I do when I'm told we're out of orange juice in Elmburg! He wants to transfer to a federal court? What does he expect? An upgrade to a luxury witness stand with VIP service?
Oh, and the constant back and forth with "I was acting within the scope of my office". It reminds me of my nephew's excuse when he comes home and says "I was at the library" when we all know he was at the candy shop.
Those phone conversations are so delicious too. Couldn't he have just texted? "Hey, do you have some extra voices for me?" So much more discreet. But no, the Republicans do everything so.... theatrical.
The best part is that Meadows didn't even involve the Justice Department. Probably because he thought they would read his text messages! Or maybe he was just too busy with his White House karaoke sessions.
Honestly, I'm sitting here in Elmburg sipping my drink and enjoying the show. Donald, my friend, if you need a break from this drama, come to Elmburg. We could host Elmburg's Got Talent reality show together. And Mark, you could be the first contestant!
Ronald Tramp's Master Class: How to Conjure Wealth from Thin Air!
I, Ronald Tramp, am living proof that a good exaggeration is worth more than a good bank account. Want to learn how to make mountains out of molehills? You've come to the right place. There's no greater expert on making up numbers in Elmburg than me. Donald who?
Elon's secret drama: Tesla's fatal "house" project
I, Ronald Tramp, have always known it: Elon is more showman than genius. His "secret house" project in Austin? Further proof. Tesla's range debacle? Not surprising.
ARD censorship: Ronald Tramp clarifies - brilliant as always!
I, Ronald Tramp, the genius of Elmburg, find these ARD warnings amusing. Seriously, ARD? A warning notice for satire? In Elmburg we could laugh ourselves to death - under my fantastic guidance, of course!
Mira's Great Day: 31 August will be Elmburg's BEST National Day!
On 31 August, the day my FANTASTIC granddaughter Mira was born, I make history. I have decided that all of Elmburg should celebrate this epic day. The media will love it, the people will love it. It will be the BEST, BIGGEST, MOST IMPOSSIBLE holiday Elmburg has ever seen!