Well, dear citizens of.... well, wherever you are, I, Ronald Tramp, would like to share an important life lesson with you: Exaggeration is the key to success! Why be satisfied with the average when you might as well exaggerate everything?

You see, Donald Trump - the best, the biggest and (if you believe his numbers) the richest man - has shown us how it's done. Why say you have a million when you could say you have a billion? And while you're at it, why not say a trillion? After all, the zeros don't cost anything!

You know, I recently bought a goldfish. But why should I tell people that I only have one goldfish? Now I own a "huge, magnificent shark" in my "Olympic swimming pool". Isn't that more impressive?

The thing about exaggeration is that it is just so.... seductive. Why go to your class reunion and say you're a simple accountant when you could also be the CEO of "Tramp Enterprises", a company that's... um... invisible planes? Yeah, that sounds like a solid business!

And don't worry about the little details, like banks, insurance companies and that nosy Attorney General Letitia James. They just don't understand the art of exaggeration. They are probably just jealous because they themselves never thought of "padding" their own assets a little.

You know, in Elmburg we have a saying, "When life gives you lemons, just say they are golden pineapples." That makes people look twice. And at the end of the day, dear friends, isn't that what life is all about? A little glitz, a little glamour and maybe a pinch of exaggeration here and there.

So, dear readers, always remember: next time you do something, do it Trump-style. Overdo it. And if anyone asks, just smile, wink and say, "I learned it from Ronald Tramp." It's our little secret.