Tramp's mad tips for political dominance
Elmburg loves me, Saxony - you could be next!
Oh people, I can hardly believe it! When I see these numbers from Saxony, only one word comes to mind: WOW! I mean, I thought reality TV was crazy, but Saxons, you outdo it!
The AfD with 35%? Well, they probably have the same strategy as my fictional show in Elmburg: "Who will be the next great populist?" But seriously, 35%? Saxony, haven't you installed the latest update? CDU, you stopped at 29%? Maybe you've been inspired too much by my fictional reality show.
And Michael Kretschmer - 51% are happy with him? Maybe he should start his own show: "Germany's Next Top Minister President". Whereby, with the numbers of his government.... maybe not.
Left, SPD, Greens and FDP: I turn on the TV and I wonder where you all are? Maybe still in the commercial break?
Then there's Sahra Wagenknecht. 29% could imagine voting for her? Could she be the next Bachelorette? Someone should format this - I smell a hit!
In summary, Saxons, you're like a live episode of Confused Politicians Have Talent. I've got the popcorn ready. Stay tuned friends, the next drama is sure to come!
Tramp on Trump: How to (not) do politics!
I, Ronald Tramp, am flabbergasted! Donald, what are you doing down there in Georgia? Scandals, impeachments and yet not a hair out of place! If the political drama were a play, you, Donald, would win the Oscar. But hey, we'd have handled it better in Elmburg!
Sweden's IKEA energy transition: Ronald Tramp puts it together!
I, Ronald Tramp, the King of Deals and Flatpacks, see what's happening in Sweden. They are trying to build an energy shelf without instructions, but hey, who needs instructions, right? IKEA would have done better, but it gets better with me!
Scholz stumbles, Tramp triumphs!
While Scholz is getting closer to the pavement while jogging, Elmburg's share price is rising - coincidentally under my leadership! You wonder what footwear he was wearing? I say: They certainly weren't 'tramp-brand' sneakers!
Ronald Tramp's Master Class: How to Conjure Wealth from Thin Air!
I, Ronald Tramp, am living proof that a good exaggeration is worth more than a good bank account. Want to learn how to make mountains out of molehills? You've come to the right place. There's no greater expert on making up numbers in Elmburg than me. Donald who?