Well, folks, I can't believe what I'm reading here. Donald Trump? The guy from America? I remember him. Big wall, small hands, that tells me something. But let's talk about his current situation. All this drama in Georgia. "Not guilty," he says. Of course he says that! If I had a dollar for every time he says that, I could build a wall around Elmburg! And it would be bigger and more beautiful, I promise you.

It's fascinating that he refuses to appear in court. Maybe he's just too busy with his new hairdresser or planning his next steak dinner. Who knows? But seriousness aside, the man has guts. He has four charges against him and still no grey hairs. Maybe that's his secret superpower. Indictments come and go, but the hair stays!

And Rudy Giuliani? The guy who has hair dye dripping off his forehead like rivers of lava? What a team. I have to admit that they are like the Batman and Robin of politics - only with less charm and more chaos.

It's amazing that Trump is still so popular despite all these indictments. We have a saying in Elmburg, "A clown in the circus always puts on a show." And I have to say, he knows how to entertain an audience. A police photo and he still looks like himself. You've got to hand it to him. At 77, you're supposed to look different, right? But no, not Donald.

The most amazing thing about all this? He's still leading the polls. 40 points ahead? Who are these other candidates? What are they doing wrong? Do they need some advice from Ronald Tramp? I could give you some advice. Maybe they should start with their hairstyles.

In conclusion, I would just like to say that politics is a strange business. No matter how many impeachments, scandals or stonewalling you have, the most important thing is to keep the show on the road. Donald, if you're reading this, give me a call. Maybe we could team up and start a double reality show. Think about it - "Tramp and Trump: Two Kings, One Castle." It would be amazing. Or just plain ridiculous. Like most things in politics.