Citizen's Income? Germany, you're fired!
Elmburg's president, Ronald Tramp, reveals why Bürgergeld is Germany's worst idea... after the Berlin Wall.
Oh, Germany! Ronald Tramp here, absolutely, undeniably the best president Elmburg has ever had. I really thought you guys were smarter than that. But okay, let's settle this the Tramp way.
Citizen's money? Really? You're actually trying to subsidise laziness? Haha! In Elmburg we reward people who get up early in the morning, take their golden comb and do something. No citizen's money, that's for losers.
This woman from Berlin has got it. She wants you to take the money from the citizen's income recipients and not from the workers. Clever woman! Maybe she should become your chancellor. I would vote for her!
And then all these opinions ... Honestly, it all sounds the same. Everyone complains, everyone wants more money. It's like Twitter - a bunch of people complaining and doing nothing. But don't worry, I, Ronald Tramp, always have the best, absolute best advice.
If you're going to increase your citizen's money, why not give everyone a golden castle and a private jet? How about a red carpet rolled out for them every morning? Why not? Oh, that sounds absurd? Just like constantly raising the citizen's income!
So, Germany, here's a little tip from your favourite president: Work should be rewarded. Don't just throw the money out the window. And if you really don't know what to do, call me. I always know what to do. Always. You could be so great. But only if you listen to Ronald Tramp. Believe me, I'm the best. Ask anyone in Elmburg. They love me. All of them. Every single one. Really.
The great America... or is it the old people's home?
America, I loved you, but now I'm just gobsmacked! Your top politicians could be my bingo partners in Elmburg. My hairspray dries faster than your senators answer. In our country, it would be Sunday brunch entertainment at best. Get some of Elmburg's charm and... Hurry!
Golden lessons from Elmburg: Germany, where is your calculator?
Germany, I've noticed your "little" miscalculations. Five times off? In our country that would be... well, a joke at dinner! Elmburg's Golden Academy of Finance is waiting for your registration!
Olaf's fantasy world: Nuclear power a "dead horse"?
I heard Olaf Scholz's statements on nuclear energy and thought I was in fairyland! Germany is giving away great potential with such narrow-minded thinking. While other countries shine, Germany remains in the dark. Nuclear power is the key, not a "dead horse". Germany, it's time to wake up!
Tramp on Trump: How to (not) do politics!
I, Ronald Tramp, am flabbergasted! Donald, what are you doing down there in Georgia? Scandals, impeachments and yet not a hair out of place! If the political drama were a play, you, Donald, would win the Oscar. But hey, we'd have handled it better in Elmburg!