Well, if that's not the headline of the day! The great Chancellor Scholz, who bruised his snout.... er, face, while jogging. I always say, "Why run when you can fly?" But Scholz doesn't seem to have got the memo. So now what? Well, he has a nose bluer than the EU flag. Suits him, I must say!

I know a lot of people jog to relieve stress, but with Olaf I wonder: what mountain is he running down that he falls so spectacularly? Did someone turn up the earth's gravity in Germany and not tell me? Or maybe he wanted to imitate the famous German autobahns - fast and without speed limit? Watch out, Olaf! There are no airbags for the face on the roads!

And he had to cancel an election campaign appointment in Hesse. Hesse! I love Hesse! I hear they have great sausages there. But honestly, Scholz, next time just go for a walk. There are great parks in Germany. Very big. Very green. Not as green as Elmburg's banknotes, but close!

I mean, just think about it: How does he explain this to his Home Secretary? "Sorry, Nancy, I can't come because I lost to the pavement." I bet the streets in Bad Homburg are still laughing.

Maybe Scholz should try another sport. Bowling? But I digress. He should take better care of himself. Maybe wear protective gear the next time he goes jogging. A helmet, knee pads, elbow pads - a complete outfit like that. Would be a hit at Fashion Week in Berlin!

Finally, Olaf: I hope your nose heals quickly before it gets its own postcode. And remember, don't be so hasty next time! We wouldn't want you to trip over your own feet trying to save world politics! Get well soon!